After Alex
by StarBucksIsLife9
Summary: What happens to Spencer between the one year time jump and how will she cope? Will she need a certain blue eyed man?
1. chapter 1

**Tobys P O V**

I honestly only thought this type of stuff only happened in movies, but here I am. Watching Spencers identical twin being pulled away by one of my fellow police officers, who has been pretending to be Spencer to take over her life and hook up with me.

The girls are all hugging each other, but I don't see Spencer with them. I look behind me to see her cradling her chest and breathing heavily.

"Spencer...", I mumble, "Are you okay?".

She doesn't reply, I just look at her as her breathing becomes faster and louder.

"Toby I can't breathe", she panics and crys, still cradling her chest.

It's then I realise she's having a panic attack, she used to get these really badly after the dollhouse.

"Shhhhh, it's okay, it's all okay Spencer, I've got you", I comfort and wrap my arms around her.

Spencers knees buckle and she kneels on the ground while I hold her. Her tears turn to sobs and her sobs turn to screams and her screams turn to flashbacks. I remember when she first had one and I had no idea what to do, I try and remember what would calm her down.

"No! NO! Please please make it stop", she pleads, her nails digging into my back. Everybody's staring at us now, but not judging, all the other girls went through the same.

I try harder and harder if what would calm her down, stroking her head, rocking her, whispering, hugging, reassuring her... Kissing her.

Then it all comes back to me, I love Spencer, I liked Yvonne, but I love Spencer.

I lift up Spencers head and kiss her lips passionately, she kisses back, wrapping her legs around me. I can head Hanna and Emily swooning and whispering.

Once we stopped kissing, she lays her head on my shoulder, still shaking... But she's calmed down now.

"I love you", she whispers, "I love you too, only you", I whisper back.

 **Any prompts for what should happen next chapter? :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Scream for me

The police soon escort us out of the horrid lair, just looking at the conditions Spencer was put in made me shudder.

As soon as we leave I actually realise how late it is, ten o'clock, not too late but it was a lot later than before. "What day is it", Spencer asks, still in shock, her porcelain face illuminated by the moonlight.

"Wednesday Spence", I whisper as she clings onto my arm as if it was her lifeline.

In only a matter of minutes we arrive back at my loft, which I bought back after Yvonne died. "Wow", Spencer whispers, fearing she'd never get to see this again, but here we are.

She starts to cry again and holds onto my shoulder, "what's wrong", I ask, which is a stupid question really, she's just escaped from being trapped underground for a matter of days.

She points to her ankles and rolls up her leggings, I gasp loudly. Her ankles are bruised purple, blue, green and pink with burgundy scratches and cuts, "Oh baby", I say, rocking her back and forth, just like I did all those years ago.

We make our way to my bedroom, but as soon as Spencer steps in one foot, she suddenly freezes like she's seen a ghost. "You... You and Alex.. Did it in this bed.. Didn't you", she mumbles.

"Spencer I swear... I thought it was you, I really did", I beg.

"It's not your fault Toby... It's just", she says, her raspy voice breaking. "Just what Spencer", I say gently, grabbing her hands in mine.

She shakes her head, turns around and buries her head into her hands.

"Spencer, what really happened", I say, anxiety bubbling in my chest.

"Just talking about it makes me feel physically sick", she sobs. "Spencer... Please tell me", I ask again.

She turns her back to me and breaths in deeply, "I... I was raped Toby", she says bluntly. My mouth falls open in shock from the words I dreaded the most.

"I was raped and Alex sat on a chair in front of me and laughed, and Ezra was forced watch it all", she burst out crying.

"Oh baby, Spencer baby", I say, starting to cry, "do you know who", I ask terrified, scared of the anwser. "I don't know, all I know is that they were wearing a black hoodie", she says, letting out a shaky breath.

"Do... You want to do the kit", I say, "there's no point, we've spent like seven years trying to find big A and with our luck, we're going to need another twenty to find my rapist", she replies aggressively.

"Do you at least want to take the pill", I ask, trying my best to ensure her safety. "Alex gave me one", she whispers.

 **Spencers P O V**

Don't cry in front of Toby, Don't cry In front of Toby, I say again and again in my mind.

"I wish I could just become a cavenaugh and escape the Drakes and Dilaurentises", I laugh, yea, it only took me about a second to realise what just slipped out of my mouth.

I basically just told Toby I want to marry him, right after his wife has died... Just great.

He laughs, and unexpectedly kisses me, maybe he wants to really try again. But our kiss doesn't stop, it keeps going and going until our shirts and pants are on the floor.

He starts to take off my bra and every memory comes back to me.

The black figure ripping of my shirt and scratching my chest, I try to stop these thoughts and focus on the now, but it all becomes to much.

"STOP!", I scream, falling into a heap on the floor.

 **Tobys P O V**

"God Spencer I'm so sorry", I shouts, coming next to her. "no. Not you. Him. Make it. Stop... Please Toby", she pants like she's going to vomit.

I try and hold her steady but she starts to scream, much like that first panic attack when she got out of the dollhouse and the fire alarm went off, I had to drag a kicking and screaming Spencer in the car to the hospital so they can restrain her.

"HELP! NO MAKE IT STOP PLEASE SOMEBODY", she screams and kicks.

"Spencer! Spencer no! Nothing bad's happening", I say, trying to grab her, but she's a mess.

I getting scared now since my loft is right above the brew, I hear footsteps coming into the loft, which makes Spencer about ten times more hysterical.

I realise there's only two people this can be, Ezra and Aria, since they live in the brew and have keys to my apartment. Then I also realise how e,harassing this could turn out, Spencer in her only bras and leggings and me in only my jeans.

I hold Spencer tight while her screams get louder and louder, at that moment Aria sprints into the bedroom and rushes over the Spencer who's a complete wreck.

"Somebody help me", she sobs, kicking everything in a metre radius, I know I'm going to wake up with bruises tomorrow but there's no way I'm going to let her go.

After about twenty minutes of Aria and I trying to calm down Spencer, she eventually passes out on the floor, basically falling right asleep.


	3. Chapter: I'm so Sorry

**Tobys P O V**

I lift Spencer up from the floor and into my bed with some help from Aria, though the embarrassment still hasn't passed from her seeing me shirtless, but at the moment she's just focusing on Spencer.

I feel calm as the sound of Spencers smooth breathing enters my ears, they are a lot better than jagged breaths and raspy shrieks. Aria sighs when she tucks the doona up to Spencers chin, kissing her forehead.

At that moment I hear my phone start to buzz in my pocket, I take it out and press the answer button.

"Hello, Toby Cavenaugh speaking"

"Hello Toby, this is detective Tanner, we need you down at the station immediately"

"Ughh sure, is everything okay?"

"There has been a dead body sighted in the forests and we need all the help we can get right now"

"Sure, I'll be on my way"

I hear the phone decline as I shove it back in my pocket and grab my uniform. "Hey Aria, the police have apperently found a body and need my help, do you think you'll be able to look after Spencer", I ask kindly. "Sure thing, I'll just text Ezra", she smiles.

 **Arias P O V**

It feels weird lying in Tobys bed, but this is for Spencer. Tonight has been nothing but twisted and shocking, it scares me how much of a clone Alex was of Spencer.

But what scares me the most is that I didn't suspect a thing about Alex, she was literally hiding in plain sight, AD was standing right in front of me.

"Toby..,", slurs Spencer, it only takes me about ten seconds to realise she is sleep talking.

"Give it all to me baby", she mumbles, hugging the pillow, I try hard not to laugh. I know very well she will want to hear this later so I turn my phone onto record.

About five minutes later Spencer wakes up rubbing her eyes, "Aria", she blinks, "Where's Toby". "Well they found a dead body in the woods, so he went to help", I say.

I wish I chose a better wording because Spencers eyes are growing as big as saucers. "But it's okay, your with me", I whisper, pulling her close.

I hear my phone ring in my pocket, I look at the screen to reveal it's Toby.

"Hey Toby"

"Hey, there something I need to tell you", he says, his voice glooming and scared.

"What?! Is everything okay"

"That body was no Jane doe, it was Spencers mother, Mary"

"Oh my god", I stutter, the news hitting my chest hard.

"I'm coming back now, would you be able to tell Spencer"

"Sure... Okay.. See you soon"

I feel like when you fall down on your chest, and all the wind is knocked out of it, and you can't breathe. "Aria... What happened?", she asks, I hear the anxiety spill over her words.

"Mary is dead", I start to cry, I watch Spencer freeze, her body tensing. "I'm so sorry Spencer", I say, trying to hug her, but she pushes me away and sprints to the bathroom and locks the door.

I know she needs her privacy but with her past, I'm not taking any chances. I start violently banging on the door, screaming for Spencer to let me in.

"Spencer... Please let me in", I sob.

It's followed by the sound of silence then I hear her voice, "I'm so sorry", it didn't take me long to work out what she meant. I started pushing my small frame against the door as I hear the rattle of pills.

"Spencer open the freaking door!", I scream, pushing with all my might.

I then realise she's throwing up by the sound of gagging and splashing on the tile floor. "SOMEBODY HELP!", I scream and shout, hoping people in the brew will hear me.

In a matter of seconds I hear the door click open, I expect to see Toby but two girls come running in, Emily and Hanna. They must have gone to see me and heard my crys for help.

"What's going on?", Hanna crys out.

"Spencers overdosing", I shriek, still hearing her pop more pills and them coming right back up. "Shit!", crys Emily, grabbing a fork and sticking it in the lock at the bathroom handle, surprisingly unlocking it.

I rush to Spencers aid to see her awake on the floor with a half empty bottle of pills and vomit all over her clothes, mouth, feet and the floor. Emily and I wrap our arms around her, carrying her almost dead weight to the couch and calling 911.

"No let me die", she crys while the pills start to make their appearance again, mostly over us girls, but the only thing that matters at the moment is keeping her safe.

"Spencer, please, just keep your eyes open, we love you more than anything", Hanna says.

"I just googled what to do on my phone", adds Emily, "We somehow need to make her vomit up every bit of the pills".

"Ok", I say, helping Spencer who's swaying from side to side and bile dripping from her mouth and chin.

"Spencer, stick your fingers down your throat", shouts Hanna. "Whaaa", slurred Spencer, drifting away from reality.

"One of us has to do it", adds Emily, both of them looking at me. I know it's gross and terrible but I do it anyway if it helps her live, I beg for the sirens to get closer even though I know they're only minutes away.

At that moment Toby barges through the door to see us girls with mascara down our cheeks, vomit on our clothes and a confused Spencer swaying about.

"What the hell!", Toby says sounding concerned, the only replies he gets is Spencer puking all over his shoes, luckily the paramedics come running in start to help Spencer. "Toby she tried to kill herself", I sob, trying to explain what happened.

I burst out into sobs when Spencer is loaded off into a stretcher.


	4. Chapter 4: Mrs Who?

**Hey guys! I hope your enjoying this story so far. If you can please leave a review, it would mean a lot to me :)**

 **Also if you guys have any prompts or story ideas for me to do, please share them :)**

 **Arias P O V**

I climb into the ambulance with Toby, grabbing onto Spencers hand while needles are being stuck into her body. Ezra offered to drive Hanna and Emily to the hospital after he saw what happened.

I think this is one of the most scariest experiences of my life. "Will she be okay?", I ask the paramedic loading a drip into her arm. "She seems fine, but we'll probably have to pump her stomach", he says, going over to help another paramedic.

Spencers awake, but she doesn't seem very with it, but I begin talking to her anyway. "Spencer, please never do anything like that again, we love you so much and we would provide the world for you. I know tonight has been crazy, absolutely effing crazy. I can understand why you did it, but please, if you ever feel like that again, call me, because I will be there for you... Always", I cry.

"Aria...", she mumbles, in an attempt to take off the oxygen mask, "I...i don't.. Let them...hurt... Can you get.. Mary please", she says dazed.

I look over at Toby, whose holding her close and kissing her forehead, trying not to cry.

In a matter of minutes we're at the hospital and loading Spencer out of the ambulance. She keeps mumbling words that make no sense, I breaks my heart to see her so confused yet innocent.

The doctors start to shoo us out of her hospital room when she starts to throw up, at that moment Hanna and Emily walk through the front doors and run up to Toby and I.

"Oh God is she okay! Please tell me she's okay", begs Hanna, tears appearing in the corner of her eyes, "Yea, she's going to be fine", I breathe a sigh of relief. "They just need to pump her stomach", cringes Toby, scared for his lover.

"Hello", appears a doctor behind me, "My name is Doctor Wrinly, I just wanted to let you know we're about pump Mrs Cavenaughs stomach".

"Ummm... Do you mean Miss Hastings-Drake?", I say, looking over at Toby who's blushing profusely. "Oh, I asked her what her name was and she answered Mrs Cavenaugh, then started blubbering something about unicorns and butter", Dr Wrinly laughs.

"Oh, her name is Spencer, Spencer Hastings-Drake", I giggle, looking at Toby who's not doing a very good job at hiding his embarrassment. "Okay, that's great", laughs the doctor, "we'll let you know when we're done, it'll be around half an hour", he smiles, then walking away.

We all stare at each other for about ten seconds until Hanna bursts out laughing, followed by Emily, Toby and eventually me.

"Mrs-... Mrs Cavenaugh", shrieks Hanna with laughter. "Ohhh Toby you got yourself a wifey", laughs Hanna, and then stops, realising what she just said. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry", she says sympathetically, forgetting about Yvonne.

"That's okay Han", she smiles, "we all need a laugh... Especially tonight", he giggles, sending us all back into roaring laughter.

When we're done laughing we take a seat next to the room Spencers getting treated. I can sense we all wish we sat somewhere else, the noises are horrific.

I can hear a huge sound like wind, then Spencer coughing, then her Vomiting, then her crying. But then I hear something that doesn't sound normal, her screeching and yelling. I then realise she's having a panic attack, "Fuck!", Toby curses under his breathe, running into the room.

We all know it's off limits but I follow him, the sight I see horrifies me, Spencer looks white a sheet with tears down her face, while kicking and screaming.


	5. Chapter 5: Panic

**Tobys P O V**

"Oh my God Spencer", I cry, running to her bedside. She wraps her arms around my neck and bawls her eyes out.

"Toby help me please they're hurting me", she sobs, her face scrunching up while she kicks the doctors and nurses away from putting a tube down her throat.

"No Spencer, they're here to help you baby girl", I comfort her, she holds me tighter, I'm not to sure if it's tears or puke the soaking through my shirt but it doesn't bother me, because all I need is Spencer to be okay.

"No Toby, you... You don't see... How.. How c.. Can you not see", she stutters through strangled sobs.

At that moment Aria rushes through the door and up to Spencer, "Aria help me! They're hurting me, make them stop please", she shrieks at the top of her lungs, kicking everything in a metre radius of her.

She looks down at her arm and freezes, staring down the multiple tubes and needles entering her skin. I know exactly what she's about to do so I pull her hands away from her arm.

But surprisingly she breaks from my grip and starts clawing out the needles, screeching words nobody can hear through her crys and shrieking pleads. "No Spencer! Baby no!", Aria begs as Spencer successfully pulls out half of the needles.

We're trying to calm her down but at that moment a doctor runs over and injects her with a needle to seditate her. It's breaks my heart to see her pleading for me to get her out while she slowly slips from conciseness. As soon as Spencer closes her eyes Aria bursts out in tears, crying over Spencer.

"What are you going to do!", I snap to one of the doctors, I'm not usually aggressive but with Spencer at risk I don't give a damn what anybody can tell me.

"We're going to try pump her stomach while she's unconscious", says the doctor. "Is that dangerous", I ask with pleading eyes. "It could be, we'll inform you of anything unplanned carries out, now this is a restricted area so the nurse here will show you out, we'll let you know when it's over", he smiles as a doctor leads me and a upset Aria into the waiting room.

I look around to see Hanna and Emily looking absolutely terrified out of their souls. "Oh my god what the hell was that noise", Emily asks, her face showing pure concern.

"Spencer had a panic attack and they had to restrain her", sniffles Aria as she sits next to Emily who wraps her arms around her. "I just.. I can't believe she.. She did it", crys Emily as I take a seat across the three girls.

"In a way... I think I would have done the same thing", answers Hanna, receiving horrified looks from the girls.

"Think about it... You have been tortued for years by an unknown bitch! Then they trap you in a underground prison with your Mom who you only found out was your adoptive mother at birth who told you when you were shot by the unknown bitch is helping to hurt you. Then the you find out that Unknown Bitch is actually your long lost crazy identical twin whose been pretending to be you to hook up with your ex who's now your boyfriend and to eventually pretend to be you for the rest of your life. Between that getting a black hoodie guy to rape and assault you. Then they explain to you everything just after you've been knocked out with a sedative and a punch. Then they show you the diamond necklace that was made with the ashes of a good friend who was part of the bitchy A team this whole time. Then they pretend to be you for a little while then come back with a axe and try to chop you apart. Later when you are all safe and sound you then find out your Mother has been brutally murdered by you crazy psycho sister!", Hanna says, "because that makes a lotta sense to me".

"Me too", murmurs Aria, "I never really looked at it that way", Emily adds, her voice breaking into tears.

"Hey guys, Spencers all done and should be fine, you can now visit her in the room 214", smiles Dr Wrinly. "Thanks... For everything", I smile back.

"Why is everything always 214", questions Hanna, Emily pulling her along. With Aria rushing behind calling Alison to come to the hospital.

 **Arias P O V**

I don't think I've ever been so relieved to hear the doctor say that Spencer was fine, I rush behind Emily and Hanna as I type in Alison's number as she has no idea what has unfolded after tonight.

"Hey Aria, what's up? By the way have you seen Emily, I can't reach her phone?",

"Hey, ummm.. I haven't got much time but can you please come to the hospital?"

"Wait... What?! Aria what's going on... Whose in the hospital"

"It's Spencer... Can you please come, she needs all the support she can get right now"

"Okay sure, I'm just getting into the car now... But is she okay? What happened"

"Yea she's okay now",

"Aria your trying to dodge the question, why is Spencer in hospital"

"She... Spencer... Spencer tried to kill herself"

"... Oh My God, do you.. Know how?"

"She.. Umm, took a overdose and I was there.. And I tried to get her out and I tried to make her stop but she wouldn't listen and-"

"It's okay honey, just take a deep breathe and remember it's okay to cry"

"Thanks Ali, I have to go, I'm I front of her room now"

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute okay"

"Okay, drive safely, bye"

"Bye Aria"

I end the call and slowly open the door with Emily and Hanna right beside me, "I'm so sorry, I didn't... I'm so sorry please don't hate me", crys Spencer.

"No baby no", Says Hanna, shaking her head, "don't ever say sorry, I... We understand completely".

"No... I did that and I didn't listen and Toby prolly hates me", she crys. "Spencie, nobody hates you, we love you so much and you mean the world to us, Toby does and never would hate you", I soothe, rubbing her back. "Where is he then", she whimpers, "he's just gone to use the bathroom, he'll be here any second now", Smiles Emily, squeezing Spencers hand.

 **Hope all you guys liked this chapter! Thanks for all the positive reviews! Feel free to leave more:)**


	6. Chapter 6: I Love You

**Arias P O V**

"No, no nobody cares", stutters Spencer, tears flowing out of her eyes freely. "Spencer, we love you so much, we care for you so much and we would do anything for you", Says Hanna with a sympathetic smile as I rock Spencer from side to side, trying to not touch the drip secured in her arm.

I watch as Spencers breathing gets heavier, "it's okay Spence, calm down we're all here for you baby", I whisper. At that moment Alison walks in, "oh my god Spencer", crys Ali, running up to her side and holding her hand.

"I'm done", says Spencer bluntly.

"What...", I say confused at what she just said, I look around concerned like at the others.

"I said I'm done, how are you supposed to keep going when the worst thing has happened,... what do you have to change inside to survive", she says slowly, tears dripping down her pale, grey face.

"Spencer... Hon... It's all over, there's no more A, no more pain", Ali whispers, holding her close.

"maybe for you, I'm just so lost", she crys, shaking her head.

"Spencer, what's that", Emily says, her voice breaking. I look down to what Emily is staring at, red slices against Spencers thigh.

I look at Spencer, in her face I see pure fear and pain, how did I not realise this before. Spencer grabs the sheet of he bed and pulls it over her cold body.

"why?", crys Emily, stroking the side of Spencers face.

"Because if I'm not hurting myself I'm always hurting someone else", Spencer crys. "And it's always my fault! I'm always the bad guy! It was the only way to escape", she shouts, bursting into tears.

At that moment Toby runs in, you can see from the look on his face he is absolutely terrified for his girlfriend. "Oh baby", he crys, Spencer rests her head on his shoulder and bursts out in tears all in front of us, I try not to myself for Spencers sake, but that's all broken when Emily starts to cry, then Hanna, then Ali, then me.

"Spencer, we love you so much, please never forget that. I am so happy your life didn't end tonight and you mean the world to me, your my Sparia, my best friend, my other half and one of the most important things to me... I love you, so so much", I say, tears filling my eyes.

"I love you too, all of you. And I'm so sorry, and you all are so much to be", Spencer crys back.

 **Sorry for the short chapter guys, I'll** **be updating again soon :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Into Your Arms

**Arias P O V**

I think more has happened to me tonight than that summer Ali disappeared, I mean really. We could have a popular tv show or something?

My thoughts are interrupted by Spencers raspy voice "I don't know how to feel", she whispers to me, since we've been alone she's said nothing but the occasional hiccups sob and trying to choke it back. We have always been so close, maybe that's why we feel so apart.

"What do you mean", I ask quietly, almost hearing her walls break down. I've never seen tears spring so quickly into someone's eyes. "I've failed at everything. Even at death. How am I supposed to feel, I want to die but I've gotten a second chance of life Aria", she crys, her voice in the edge of breaking.

That's when she crashed. Breaked down. Broke. Cracked. Or something like that.

I hugged Spencers weak, shaking body as she let out a heart wrenching sob and buried her face into my shoulder. "A- ar- ia", she chokes, her voice scratchy and violently crying. My heart snaps in two seeing her like this, I try to stay strong for her, but I can't. I start to sob into her shoulder as she sobs into mine

 **Hannas P O V**

We left Aria alone with Spencer while the rest of us went to sign Spencers release papers. This place gets methinking back to when I was in high school, it's all different now.

Not the hospital, us, me, life. High school Hanna would have been ashamed to visit the girl who tried to kill herself, but as I said, a lot has changed.

I hear the wheels of a hospital bed hurry near us. The body is covered with a white sheet, I feel bad for this persons family. Emily and Caleb join me looking.

I let out a loud gasp as the bed hits the breaks on the corner and a limp hand falls from under the white sheet. But it's not the arm that scares me, it's the metal chain that is attached to it. A small bracelet with the words printed on a tiny love heart, _Spencer_.

I tightly close my eyes as the milliseconds turn into slow motion hours. I can also hear Alison talking behind me and it makes my blood run cold.

She didn't cling herself as much as Spencer to Mary Drake. She treated her well, but didn't... Love her, or merely like her.

As soon as I know it the release papers are done and we are walking back to Spencers room to see Aria and Spencer tightly holding each other and bawling there eyes out. I let out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding.

Aria senses we are here so she lifts Spencer off the bed and into Tobys welcoming arms.

 **Thanks for all the beautiful reviews guys! ;)**


	8. Chapter 8: A's Back

**Tobys P O V**

"Let's get you home baby", I say, lifting her off the bed and into my arms. I take one look at her puffy face and kiss her head and carry her to my car. I feel so grateful to have her with me, I mean really... If that... Well, did happen to her... Like, my love life would be really, really bad. I'm like a death magnet.

We say a emotional goodbye to the others and drive off. "I love you-" "no, I love you more", interrupts Spencer, placing her hand over mine. We spend the rest of the car ride talking and laughing like none of that ever happened.

Once we arrive at my loft Ezra or somebody must have cleaned up the mess.

I walk into my room and sit Spencer down onto the bed, who I had been giving a piggyback too. She looks around the room and let's out a sigh, I watch as a blue light buzzes from her jean pocket. She picks it up and freezes.

 _"Hey, I'll see you later. -A.",_ Spencer reads out loud.

"No. No. No. No no Toby no", she breathes heavily, pacing as I go to her a hold her tight. "A.. As back Toby this, this no can't be happening", she crys, tears dripping from her eyes for the thousandth time.

I kiss her head and hold her to my chest, trying to prevent her from another panic attack. She grabs for her phone as another text pops up.

 _"Kisses",_ she reads. For a split second I see rage in Spencers eyes, she gripe her phone tight, almost enough for it to crack in her hands.

I have a vision of what she's about to do , I try and snatch it from her hand but it's to late.

She throws the phone at the wall, resulting in it smashing into a million peices. I watch her chest rise higher and lower and her breathing going as high as this building.

"Spencer... It's okay, calm down, we'll figure this out", I soothe, stroking her elbow. "No", she shrieks at the top of her lungs.

I Grab her as she starts to kick and scream, her fingernails clawing my arms as she kicks everything around us.

"ARIA! EZRA!", I shout, hoping they'll hear me from below.

My loud voice sends Spencer more hysterical, I hold her down against my chest so she can't cause any damage. My arm starts to bleed from her sharp fingernails scratching against it, Spencer starts to get more and more worked up from seeing the blood.

"COMING!", I hear Ezra shout reassuringly from down the ground floor. He and Aria would have probably had to tell their customers that Spencer just had anxiety and somebody wasn't being brutally murdered.

At that moment Ezra, Aria and Alison burst through the door.

 **Hey guys! I am super sorry I haven't been that active lately, I've just had a lot on. I hope you guys enjoy**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**


	9. Chapter 9: A or Ali

**Tobys P O V**

"What's going on?!", shouts Alison, unaware of Spencers attacks coming back. "Just... Hold... Her... Down", I say, struggling to pull her to the ground.

"NO. GET. THE. HELL OFF OF ME!!!!!!", Spencer screeches, tears streaming down her red face. She continues to kick and claw anybody that comes near her, resulting in all of us having hits and scratches.

For a second Spencer stops, sits up and holds her throat. We all look at her, waiting for Spencer to lash out at somebody.

"I... Can't.. breathe", she whispers, trying to take choking breathes.

"No baby, no try to breathe, in and out", Aria soothes, holding her.

Spencer shakes her head and breathes faster and faster, her face growing white. "Babe, hold on okay?", I pant, grabbing the phone.

"Please tell me what's going on?!", Alison begs, sounding majorly concerned.

"She got a text from A", I remark slowly as Aria cups her hand over mouth, Alison stands there looking like she's seen a ghost.

"Shit!", she whispers, "ughhh I'm such a idiot!", she sighs loudly, burying her face in her hands.

"What?", asks Aria, quite scared for the reply. "I sent it with my new phone, I totally forgot and put A instead of Ali and ughhhhhh I can't believe it!".

"You hear that Spencie, it was just Ali, just Ali", soothes Aria, trying to calm down Spencers shaking body and jaggered breaths. Stroking her back while Spencer pants and cries.

"It's okay babe", I whisper while holding and rocking her from side to side. She looks down from just coming back to realisation "I'm sorry", she cries.

 **Hey lovelies!**

 **I'm really sorry for being really inactive but I've had a lot of problems with my Anorexia lately which really sucks. So I am planning on spending tonight writing lots of fanfiction! I'm a going to write one about a PLL couples vacation with no A, just basically a funny, cute and fluffy multichap which will be great!**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**


	10. Chapter 10: Lost but not Found

**1 Week Later**

 **Arias P O V**

Since last week Spencer has calmed down a lot, no more panic attacks, no more scared of being with men and no more worries about A. I have been hanging around with the girls

a lot this week, mostly to help Spencer.

I sit in my apartment next to Ezra reading the snapchat stories on my phone when I see something that sends immediantly shivers down my spine.

A picture of Alex in a orange suit, handcuffs and a policeman holding her with the captions, _Alex Drake posted for bail due to unexpected events._

"Ez-... Ezra", I stutter, "take a look at this".

"Wait.. Let me see", he says, shuffling next to me, grabbing my phone and reading it... "oh my god...", he trails off.

I snatch my phone out of his hands to see the full story.

 _Kidnapper Alex Drake, who tortured her sister, friends and other accessories has been posted to bail due to unexpected pregnancy. The brunette attacks back saying that she demands not to have an abortion and to keep the baby with the father who was tricked into thinking Alex was her sister, as she calls him "Toby"_

"You have to be kidding me", I breathe deeply, burying my face in my sweaty hands. At that excruciating moment I feel the vibration of my phone on my lap, I pick it up to reveal the caller ID as Spencer.

I answer the call to hear Spencers crying, muffled voice through the phone.

"You saw it already... Didn't you", I whisper.

"Saw what Aria, anyway I've got some news", she says.

"Me too, you go first...".

"Well... I wasn't to sure at first but Ughh, I took a test just to be sure and... I'm like you, I can't have babies", she sobs.

"Oh my god Spence I'm so sorry", I say. It takes a few seconds for the realisation of what just happened hits me, Alex is pregnant with Tobys baby, Spencer can't have Tobys baby.

"Ok... Ughh I'll be back soon... I have have to... Umm go", I stutter, ending the call.

"What just happened", asks Ezra, confused yet intrigued.

"Spencers infertile..."


	11. Chapter 11: Confrontation

**Hey guys!**

 **Thanks for all the positive reviews for this story, I'm going to do another one soon similar to Ready For The Road, if you have any prompts for that please let me know. Also if you guys like music, and of course, Pretty Little Liars, I have a YouTube channel, a musical.ly account, and a Instagram account were I post my Pretty Little Liars edits.**

 **YouTube: Rubies. Edits**

 **Musical.ly: Forever.Tunes.Audio**

 **Instagram: Forever.Tunes.Audio**

 **Please go check them out!**

 **-StarbucksIsLife9**

 **Arias P O V**

"That's not funny Aria", says Ezra sternly.

"I am quite sure it's not funny Ezra because this is not a fucking joke!", I shout, he looks quite taken back by my sudden outburst, "sorry... I didn't mean to say that", I whisper, feeling my walls pile up.

"That's fine pookie bear", he says kindly but jokingly, showing me that beautiful smile that has made us last so many years. He pulls me close but I pull away from hearing my phone buzz on the coffee table.

"Hey it's Emily", I hear through the phone, "and Alison!", I hear again, but this time more muffled.

"Hi..", I trail off, not sure if they've seen the article.

"We saw it aswell", Emily mumbles.

"Yea... I just... I just can't believe it", Alison says, I can hear her voice breaking through the phone, "she's just been through so much, all of this, her Mom dying, Suicidè and terrible anxiety, now this... Do you know how she's taking the news?".

"She doesn't know yet", I say, biting my lip.

"What do you mean she doesn't know yet! I'm adding her to this call!", snaps Emily.

"NO WAIT!!", I yell.

"Wait for what...", Emily asks, her voice slightly calmer now.

"She can't know yet", I whisper.

"Why... What don't we know Aria?", says Alison, sounding concerned.

"Well... You guys aren't exactly supposed to know this yet, but Spencer just called me with some bad news...", I say, my heart nearly bouncing out of my chest.

"Well. What news?!", Says Ali impatiently.

"Ok... Here goes... Spencers like me, she can't have babies, which basically means she's infertile", I cry.

"Oh my god", sobs Emily, "how the heck are we supposed to tell her that her sister is pregnant with her boyfriends baby whom she will never have!", crys Alison.

"We'll figure it out... Can you guys get Hanna, explain this all to her and meet at our place in half an hour", I suggest.

"Sure thing, see you soon!", says Alison and Emily chorusing together.

 **30 minutes later**

"Thank god your here!", I cry opening the door to Alison, Emily and Hanna.

"I just can't believe this", Hanna sighs, shaking her head and looking down at the ground. The rest of us nod our heads in agreement.

"So what should we do?", Alison asks.

"I was thinking we could just get Spencer and Toby up here and explain it to them", I suggest.

"I think that would be best", Emily says.

"I'll go and get them", says Hanna sadly, walking out of the door and up the stairs.

"And I guess now we just wait...", I sigh.

The seconds feel like minutes and the rhythmic tick of the clock drowns out all my clouded thoughts. My mind circles to Spencer and Tobys last breakup, also because of a false alarm pregnancy, I've never seen anyone be so happy to talk about they're period after that, along with the tissues, tears and cries for Toby.

My thoughts are interrupted by a click of the door, I expect to see both Spencer and Toby, but only Spencer and Hanna walk through the door.

Spencer looks like a mess, mascara smudged down her red, blotchy cheeks, accompanied with tears as well as messy hair, a slimmer than usual figure, empty eyes and old clothes.

I run up and give her a huge bear hug, I join in with the other girls, forming a large group hug, something we should have more often.

"Oh Spence", I cry.

Once we have finished our sentimental time we sit down on the couches facing each other.

"Have you seen the news this morning?", Ali whispers.

"No... Why", Spencer crys.

"Well... Something happened this morning that you should see", sobs Emily, seeing any of us cry almost always starts off her waterworks as well.

"Did you want me to read it to you", I ask.

"Ummm okay...", sniffles Spencer.

Alison moves from Emily so she's next to Spencer, Emily grabs Spencers hand in hers while Hanna nestles into her side, comforting Spencer.

"What is it that could possibly be this bad", crys Spencer, almost making it sound like a chuckle.

"Here goes", I whisper, swiping up the snapchat article of the daily mail for the second time today as I start to read.

"Alex Drake, who was arrested a couple of days ago for kidnapping her sister, assaulting her friends and other accessories has been posted for bail due to unexpected pregnancy. She refuses to take part in a abortion and wants to leave the child in the care of the father, who thought Alex was her identical twin who she held hostage, she addresses the father by the name of 'Toby Cavanaugh'", I read slowly.

I've never seen Spencer look so sad and vulnerable.

She clasps her hand over her mouth to what I think is to conceal a sob, she lets the tears fall freely out of her eyes as we all do.

"It's okay to cry Spence", soothes Alison.

Spencer then shakes her head profusely and let's out a terrible gagging and belching noise as she tries to reach for the trash can next to the stool on the side of the couch.

"Oh Honey", sighs Emily as she runs to grab the mini bin to Spencer and puts it in her lap.

She continues to gag and sob over the bin as I run behind her to rub her back and hold her hair. "This can't be happening", Spencer bursts into tears as she makes another terrible burping noise and starts to spill her contents of her stomach into the bin. "I forbid it!".

"It's ok Spence, it's all okay", Hanna reassures her, rubbing her side as she starts to cough, cry, gag and shake while I hold her soft yet messy hair from getting dirty.

"Just let it out hon", caresses Ali, rubbing Spencers back as I pull her hair into a bun to make it easier for her to be sick.

"I don't know if I can do this", shreiks Spencer through sobs racketing her fragile body.

"Yes you can, and we'll be by your side all the way through it", I say, kissing the top of her head.

"Can someone please help me to the bathroom", Spencer sniffles as vomit dribbles off her chin.

"Sure we'll all help you, if it makes you feel better I was always vomiting from stress when I was running away from A", Ali sighs, helping Spencer to her feet.

At that moment Caleb walks through the door holding coffees for all of us "Hey Caleb", Hanna shouts. "Ugh is this a bad time", he says, putting the coffees down on the coffee table.

"No, it's all good just can you get some ice water for Spencer please", Hanna asks, "sure thing", he replies. "Oh and a wash cloth too".

I guess we all sort of forgot that we were holding a puking Spencer because she took off running for the bathroom... But didn't exactly make it and starts to barf all over the ground.

"Oh.. Here", Caleb pants, running over, picking Spencer up and dropping her in front of the toilet, much quicker than us girls could ever get there.

I run over to help her and fix her already falling out bun into place again as the girls catch up and Caleb returns with a tall glass of water and ice and a wet flannel.

After about ten more minutes of non stop tears and vomit, Spencer rests her head against the porcelain bowl, "Caleb!", she shouts.

"Yeah", he calls back from the hallway, cleaning Spencers...well let's say, mess.

"Can you get Toby!", she asks, "sure thing! I'll call him now."

At that moment again I hear the doorbell ring, Spencer must have thought it was Toby so she ran up swing open the door... But it's not... It's Alex, followed by a bodyguard and a policeman.

Spencer freezes, "Can I come in?", Alex says, her British accent shocking even me, she looks just like Spencer!

I watch as Spencers chest goes up and down and I realise if I don't act quick it's going to result in a panic attack.

"It's okay Spencer, calm down, just breath...", I whisper to her, "don't get worked up", I instruct, holding her left arm tightly.

"I think I'm going to be sick again", Spencer says right before puking on Alexs shoes.

"I deserved that", Alex said once Spencer had finished.

"What are you doing here!", snarls Spencer.

Alex doesn't say a thing, instead she gently reached out to Spenders wrist and rolled up her sleeve to reveal a huge scar.

Alex runs her fingers over it and bursts out in tears "I didn't mean for this to happen Spencer... I really.. Really didn't", she sobs.

"Words last a lot longer than scars", Spencer cries.

"I expect you know about the baby", Alex whispers.

"I know enough to know your a dirty-""Spencer!", I interrupt her, "breathe babe".

"Why did you do this to us", Spencer bawls.

"I just wanted a family", Alex cries.

"I think it would be better if you would go", Spencer says calmly, trying desperately to hide her emotions.

"Maybe", Alex sighs, walking out the door.

Once the door is closed, Spencer presses her back against it and slides down it in a pool of never ending tears, I hug her tightly for about twenty minutes until she's calmed a little bit down, the girls in tow.

I hear a knock at the door and open it, "Baby girl!", shouts Toby as Spencer flys into his welcoming arms "Toby!", she cries, her head buried in his shoulder, muffling her sobs.


	12. Chapter 12: Gone

**Spencers P O V**

I let out a heart wrenching sob as Toby squeezes me tight, "Oh Spence, oh my god Spencer", he cries, ravelling his fingers through my hair.

This is one of the rarest moments of Toby actually crying, not something you see often. But then again I guess it's the same with me, rare... But sentimental.

"To-by", I stutter and cry, getting more hysterical. "It's ok Spence, I'm right here by your side and I love you so much", he whimpers, I can sense he's feeling embarrassed and trying not to cry in front of the others.

"I can't- I don't think I can do this", I sob, "Yes you can babe, Spencer you are the most strongest person I've ever known".

"Oh My God Han aren't they the most cutest couple", I hear Emily choke a whispery sob behind me.

"I just ship them so much", she shakes and sobs back, pulling each other into a hug.

"Toby I am so scared", I admit to him, not caring that the others will hear.

"It's okay, I'm here and I'll always be here to protect you", he sobs into my shoulder.

"And.. And I'm so stressed and scared and nervous and I feel physically sick Tobes", I sob louder, letting my ugly cry go full out.

"I think I might be depressed...", I cry and trail off.

 **Tobys P O V**

Hearing my baby say that breaks my heart into peices. "That's ok baby, a lot of people have it Spence", I say, my tears dialling down a little bit. I can't imagine how bad she feels right now.

When I read that news article I have never felt so numb, "I want to die Toby", she cries hysterically.

I hear Aria let out a quiet sob behind me as the girls hug each other for support.

"I couldn't live without you", I cry back.

"I feel so cold, like there's a part of me that's broken and can't be put back together", she sobs again.

 ** _PLEASE READ!!! :)_**

 **Hey guys!**

 **Thanks for reviewing favouriting and following!**

 **I've started a new Pretty Little Liars Roleplay forum! Please join it :))**


	13. Chapter 13: Found

**Tobys P O V**

"Well let me put you back together... Please", I sob, holding her close to my chest, inhaling her scent, feeling her body pressed up against, things I should always be grateful for.

"I'm a problem to you Toby", she chokes, still digging into me.

"Spencer Hastings, you saved me, please, just please let me save you", I cry, burying my face in her brown locks. "And I love you...".

"I love you too", she musters, cracking a smile through her pain.

"Oh my god you two are so fucking cute", Crys Emily.

Without thinking Spencer lets go from my grip and runs into they're arms, they all hold onto each other tightly, sobbing into each other's necks.

I feel a arm around my shoulder and turn around to see Caleb smiling at me with tears in his eyes.

"It's all over now, it's all over", I here Alison coo to the girls.

 **Hey guys!**

 **I know this chapter is TINY but I just wanted to upload it quick so you guys would know I'm not finished this story, don't worry it's still don't a lot of chapters to go! About that, if you guys have any prompts please share them:)**

 **Love StarBucksIsLife9**


	14. Chapter 14: Slim I Hope

**Spencers P O V**

After about a solid hour of hugging and crying, we have now moved to the couch with us girls all huddled together, my head lies on Arias lap and my feet on the other girls as they hug and try to calm me.

Lucky for the, my tears and sobs have now just turned into the slight tear and sniffles. "You are so strong Spence", soothes Emily, stroking my leg.

"So, so strong", Hanna repeats, who's been braiding my hair, something she always used to do when I got panic attacks back in high school.

I remember once we were in history and it was about three weeks after the dollhouse and we were still recovering.

The teacher had put up a PowerPoint about Sweden and it's village a couple of hundred years ago and in the lesson we were learning about how it was for children in their time in Sweden before they had any electrity or technology.

And they showed a photo of some toys that included dolls and I had a huge flashback and burst out into tears on the spot and started to have a panic attack. I was really lucky it was Mrs Montgomery teaching that lesson, because she let Hanna take me to the bathroom since we had most classes together.

I started having a full blown panic attack and she started to braid my hair and it calmed me right down, just like now.

"All done", chimes Hanna, I take my hand from my chest and run my fingers along it, I haven't had Dutch braids in so long. "Thanks Han", I whisper, lying back down again.

Caleb and Toby went somewhere before, I think to probably rest there heads, my thoughts are interrupted by the voice of Aria.

"Did you guys want to watch some tv", Aria asks, "I don't mind", I smile, sitting up.

"Sure", Hanna smiles, Alison and Emily bobbing their heads in agreement.

We're about half way through the notebook when I feel a sharp pain in my stomach, but not just any sharp pain... It felt like...

"Are you okay Spence", asks Aria, noticing me sitting upright. "You look like you've seen a ghost", laughs Alison.

"Aria...", I trail off, feeling my blood go ice cold and my head go hot. "Yeah?" She asks kindly, facing my direction.

"With someone infertile... Is there a slim chance of them..", I gulp, "to get pregnant".

"Yes.. But it's really really slim, why?", Aria asks, sounding concerned.

"I.. I.. Felt, what I think was... a kick", I breathe heavily.


	15. Chapter 15: I'm Pregnant Bye!

**Spencers P O V**

"What?!", Emily and Alison say in comparison, while Hanna and Aria look confused.

"I said... I said I felt a kick in my stomach", I stutter, absolutely bewildered and terrified.

"It probably wasn't, I mean.. You don't even know what it feels like, the kick", says Hanna, trying to come up with a logical solution.

"Yes I do", I whisper. "How", trails off Emily, looking confused.

My stomach drops, I had always kept this secret to myself and didn't expect it to ever escape my lips, but I guess only two can keep a secret if one of them is dead right, just like Ali said before she disappeared.

"Ummm well... Do you guys remember those two weeks I took going to Japan", I say, cringing my teeth together. "Yeah", say Emily, Aria and Hanna, "no... Obviously", laughs Alison.

"I didn't go to Japan... I got pregnant and had to have an abortion", I cry, my voice slowly breaking.

"What?!", Aria says shocked. I just nod, "Oh honey", Aria sighs, wrapping her arms around me. "Out of all of us, I did not expect Spencer to get pregnant first... I thought you were into that sex after marriage shit", laughs Hanna, trying to lighten up the mood.

I start to laugh too, smiling through my little tears. "Well... If you are pregnant... Maybe it's a good thing right? It's what you wanted, I mean like in the long run. I remember you saying once how you wanted to grow old and have babies with Toby", Alison smiles.

I smile at first, my then my smile drops, as well as my stomach, what feels like my brain and my blood runs cold.

"I never had sex with Toby", I say bluntly, then erupting into tears.

"Oh god", Emily crys, covering her mouth. Aria embraces me in a hug and Hanna rubs my back crying, while Alison sits there looking wildly confused. "I don't get it", she says.

"I was raped", I cry. Alison's face goes pale, she walks up to me slowly and begins to hold my hand and stroke my face, Emily follows after her.

"Hush little baby don't you cry", she starts to sing in the sweetest, softest melody.

"Mamas gonna sing you a lullaby", she continues to sing as I lay in Arias lap for the longest time. I wait for Hanna to return since she left five minutes after I felt it to buy a pregnancy test, just to be sure.

 **Hannas P O V**

 _Hmmmm_ I think. Looking at the many many tests at the supermarket. First response, pregnancy prognosis, geez how many brands are there.

"Umm", I hear behind me. I turn around to see Toby and Caleb, _fuck!_ I think, out of all the possible people I could've run into, like I think it would better if it was like Jenna or someone like that! Even Jordan!

"Hanna...", Says Caleb looking horrified at me holding a pregnancy test.

"Hey baby", I smile, god this is awkward, I think to myself.

"Why have you got pregnancy tests", he asks, I know this will come to haunt me later but here goes.

"I'm pregnant bye!", I smile and run out the store, throwing a twenty dollar bill at the shop assistant.

I then run to my car and speed off, _fuck!_ I laugh to myself

 **Sorry guys if it's a lil short! I'll be updating sooon :)))) 3**


	16. Authors Note PLEASE READ

**Hey guys!**

 **I'm really sorry if I haven't posted for the past six days! I've just and a lot on and have been in hospital for a assessment** **for my Anorexia, and I might have to be admitted soon which means I won't get to post for a long time since the hospital has no WiFi (terrible I know;( ). I'm about to start a chapter for this now but I just wanted to tell you guys about this;)**

 **If you want you can also check out another story I've posted called Sticks and Stones which is about an alternative for the night were Spencer found out Toby was part of the A team (3x16).**

 **And I'm going to post another soon where Spencer gets raped by Alex and homecoming and then Togy and Emily save her.**

 **I hope you guys are enjoying my stories so far!**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**


	17. Chapter 16: To Be, Or Not To Be

Did you get it?", Spencer says sounding more intense, but then again... I guess she's about to find out if she was pregnant.

"Geez calm down", I laugh, "I did, and it was hard so don't take your anger out on me".

"Just give it!", Spencer says angrily, trying to snatch it out of my hand as Aria rolls her eyes, "it's not like you saved my life".

"Um excuse me, but who made up the excuse that they were pregnant to their husband and Toby and then almost got hit by a fricken car! Me!", I snap back, waving my hand in a sassy click. Spencers eyes go wide and her eyebrows go up.

"What...", she says, sounding highly agitated, "it's fine, they just think I'm pregnant", I laugh.

"Ohhhh", Spencer giggles. "Do you know why Toby was there?".

"Probably to buy condoms", adds Alison, Emily and Aria burst out laughing as Spencer tries hard not to, but eventually giving in and joining the rest of us.

"Okay so are you ready", I whisper, walking up to her slowly, she nods and closes her eyes. I hand her the package and she walks to the bathroom silently, not saying a word. Which leaves the rest of us looking at each other in what feels like the longest time.

Five minutes later Spencer again slowly emerges from the hallway to the bathroom with the test in her hands. "I'm gonna be a Mum", she smiles, tears forming in the the corners of her eyes.

 **Sorry it's so short! I'm starting the next chapter right now! It will be Spoby centric with a LOT of drama! ;))))**


	18. Chapter 17: In The Wrong Way

**Hey guys! No it's not Alex doing to 'O' and 'U' for Mom/Mum:) I'm Australian, and in Australia we spell Mum with a 'U' instead of a 'O', but because I read so many American books and Fanfiction, I get used to seeing 'Mom', but in school I spell it 'Mum'. So yeah it's basically just me getting confused with vocabulary Haha:)))))**

 **3 Weeks Later**

 **Emilys P O V**

Me, Alison, Caleb, Hanna, Aria and Ezra are now standing at Spencer and Tobys door, since they invited us for dinner, even though we have all been spending a huge amount of time together anyway.

Since Spencer found out she was going to be a Mum it was sort of like a changing around in her, she seemed more happy and not dwelling on the small things, there was less panic attacks and she just seemed noticably better.

Spencer and Toby were a little bit sad at first on how they would never know the babies true father who raped Spencer, but they soon got around that, and Toby decided to be the Father. You can now see a small yet noticeable bump on Spenders stomach, which she is very proud about.

I know tonight's extra special, and we all know why, except for Spencer. Tonight's the night Tobys proposing, my thoughts are broken by both of them opening the door with smiles.

Tobys grin almost looks like it spreads from his ears to his mouth with the small but if sweat near his head, another component telling us how nervous he is.

We all greet each other until Toby and Spencer welcome us inside to a perfectly cooked roast chicken dinner, "I hope you guys like it", laughs Spencer, showing us to our seats.

"Well it looks like we will", giggles Emiky, all of us giggling and nodding our heads in agreement as we sit down on the dining room chairs.

It almost seems like we're all staring at Toby, just waiting for him to pull out the ring. "Come on! Let's eat", chuckles Caleb, "wait! Let's say grace first", Aria says, as we all grab hands with the people beside us.

"Dear Lord, may we all have a fun, safe and successful night, Thankyou", she whispers, her eyes completely closed, once we are done we grab our knifes and forks and dig in.

In about a minute we are all talking and having converstations, even though we are all so exited and waiting for the big announcement.

 **1 hour later**

"I know, yeah she's good", Hanna says, as we are talking about Mona, while the others talk about other things.

"Hey Tobes, I'm just going to go to the bathroom", Spencer smiles as she kisses Toby on the cheek, Toby waits until she has gone into the bathroom and then springs to action.

"Hanna! Tell me if she is coming, Aria, make sure I don't make to much noise", he orders, for a minute I am confused, but then I realise it's time, Alison can barely contain the big grin on her face and Aria looks like she will never stop moving with excitement.

In a couple of seconds Toby has placed the ring in front of her dinner plate and sits there nervously. "Do you think she'll notice straight away", Hanna giggles, "I have no idea", Toby smiles.

We all sit there with excitement and anticipation running through our veins when we hear the most loudest, shrill scream ringing through the bathroom.

I see a flash of fear and panic in Tobys eyes as he sprints to the bathroom. I, Alison, Aria and Hanna run after him quickly as we can, I feel sick to my stomach as Spencers scream still drings in my head.

I hear a loud sobbing noise coming through the door as Toby throws himself on it, trying to unlock the door. I then come to my senses and grab the knife on the kitchen bench, remembering how it opened with it when Spencer tried to kill herself.

"Here!", I shout, throwing the knife to Toby while he tries to unlock the door. I look over at the girls next to me, Hanna is almost hyperventilating with fear, Aria is clinging on Alison and Alison is starting to cry.

"Spencer what's happened!", Toby yells sounding scared because of the scream and the now distressed, sobbing and screeching noise coming from inside. Though he doesn't need to ask what's happened, due to the door swinging open right after he spoke.

I feel my heart and stomach sink to my feet, Aria has tears dripping from her eyelids, Hanna, I've never seen her look so pained and Alison looks like she's about to fall to her knees.

Toby sprints next to the hysterical brunette and scoops her up in his arms, Spencer is kicking and screaming on the floor in her own blood, almost just like that night she got shot. She didn't deserve this.

Spencer screams and sobs as loud as I'd ever heard her while Toby rubs her back in comfort. "It's gone", Spencer repeats again and again while thumping her hand on Tobys chest.

I've never seen anything so literal heartbreaking, Spencer, kicking and screaming while Toby holds her, blood is spread out across the bathroom from her white jeans. I honestly don't know what to do but just stand here and watch while we all cry our eyes out.

"What's going on", Caleb mouths to Hanna, Hanna walks over to him slowly, her body convulsing of shaking and sobs, "Spencer lost her baby", she crys, taking in jagged, raspy breaths. Caleb looks down and shields his face, I can tell he is trying not to cry. "God", he musters.

I can honestly feel my heart breaking in two, I'm now holding both Aria and Alison in my arms, who are crying they're eyes out, as well as me.

I look over at Spencer and Toby. Toby is holding Spencer tightly as can while she is going completely hysterical, oh god... I thought this night would turn out amazing and forever memorable... Well it sure did, but in the wrong way I guess...


	19. Chapter 18: Blood Still Stains

I look at the pool blood of blood smeared across the floor, I've seen a lot, and I mean a lot of blood this year. But this is the absolute worst.

My crying eyes dart to Toby, who's trying his hardest to coax Spencer, who's on the floor with wide eyes, covered in tears and blood and is clutching onto Toby. "Shhhh Spence", he whispers while stroking her face.

 **Hanna P O V**

I don't think I can look anymore, though I can't get it out if my head. "You okay Han", smiles Caleb, who's tears have been wiped away, I shake my head.

But honestly, what has Spencer done to deserve this, really? My thoughts are drowned out by the siren if a ambulance approaching the loft, which I called earlier so Spencer can be checked out. I hear Spencers heavy jaggered breathing coming from the bathroom, and the girls crying.

I look over and see the ring placed on the table, in perfect order, then I look over and see Spencer wrapped in Tobys arms crying.

I then hear a furious knocking at the door, I immediantly know its the paramedics. I'm about to get up and go and anwser the door but I see Calebs beat me to it.

I feel quite bad for not being down with the girls helping Spencer, but if i see another drop of blood I swear to god I'm going to projectile vomit down the hallway. Aria, Emily, Alison and Toby are ushed out of the room from helping Spencer so the paramedics can get in.

I know we are all internally begging for Spencer not to have a panic attack, but I'm sure the paramedics would be used to that... and Spencer probably by now.

I look around the room at everybody, my glance catches Toby, I don't even want to imagine what pain he feels right now, nor even experience it!

"You good man?", asks Caleb, offering a sad, yet sympathetic smile. Toby stays still for a moment, fiddling with his ring on his pinkie, a present his Mom gifted him when he turned forteen.

Toby then looks up "No, I'm not okay", he says sadly, then turning into loud sobs.

Caleb then engulphs Toby in a hug, I don't think I've ever seen a grown man cry so much. But in Tobys case I completely and utterly understand.

"Tonight was supposed to be perfect", he chokes.

 **Hey guys!**

 **Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, favs and follows! I'd like to say a special thankyou to SibunaMockingjay, RealLifeShipper, xcxanna96xcx and spariaspannalittlepretty who always leave the most kindest reviews and make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!**

 **I hope all you guys are liking this story so far, I've got a good twist and a turn-around for next chapter I think you guys will like:)))**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**


	20. Chapter 19: What Do You Mean?

**Spencers P O V**

My body bounces up and down on the brick hard bed being wheeled across the tiles splattered with my own blood. My face is emotionless, shielded with mascara stains and tears.

I stare at the girls before being taken out the door, there faces show pain and anguish.

I just want to stop, I want everything to stop, I hear Toby running behind, trying to get a spot in the upcoming ambulance.

I stare up at him, it's all my fault, I ruined something he was so happy about, something he had pride in. I'm sure he probably wants to be with Yvonne, she at least can probably hold a baby, unlike me.

I can now hear the girls, I almost feel as bad for them as I do for Toby, I've put them through so much, they probably wouldn't even care if I... No! I can't think like that, I can't... But it's all that's in my mind.

My body jerks as I am hoisted up into the back of the ambulance with a huge jolt, awakening a loud gasp from my mouth.

"It's okay baby", he whispers, climbing into the ambulance with me, I move my face the other way, I don't deserve him, I made him lose so much... Everything, I mean everything is my fault, if I hadn't of texted Toby that night when he was driving, Yvonne would be fine, he would be with her and I would have just lost the baby with nobody, and he would only feel was a little sorry when scribbling on the 'get well soon card'.

"Spencer what are you thinking", he says, stroking my head, I don't know what to say, I've used up all my tears, all I want to do is disappear. "I'm sorry", I whisper, becoming him down closer to me, "it's okay", he says, offering a weak sympathetic smile.

In a matter of minutes I'm being wheeled out on this horrible stretcher thing into the hospital, the constant bumps on the ground make me feel like my stomach is doing acrobats.

"You kay babe", he says, still holding my hand, "I feel sick", I say bluntly. As the bed comes faster I sudden feel like I'm going to be sick, "Toby", I say, clenching teeth.

"Mmmm", he says, trying not to cry and squeezing my hand, "I'm gonna be sick", I groan, feeling the contents rise up my throat, I immediately cover my hand over my mouth and try to sit up.

One of the paramedics must have heard me and is bringing over a yellow bag, I basically leap on it while Toby rubs my back in circles.

 **2 Hours Later**

The needle in my arm bugs me and this place smells. Finally I finished all the tests but the needle is apparently 'to make me feel better', I personally think I'd be better without a peice if spikey metal through my skin.

"Your so brave", sighs Aria, smiling at me from my bedside, I look at everybody around me, Aria and Hanna on my side, and Emily and Alison next to Hanna. The boys went out to go get coffee and food.

"Your really inspiring", Hanna chimes, kissing my forehead, I smile gently, I feel lucky to be friends with them.

At that moment the Doctor walks in, "Miss Hastings-Drake", he says, looking me up and down. I nod, and the others wait so we can all finally go eat, since we've been here for hours.

"I've got good news", he smiles, what th hell, I think, how could there be good news.

I raise my eyebrows, completely and utterly confused, "he's still in there", he smiles, grinning widely.

"No its not", I say, giving a even more confused look, the doctor now looks confused as well.

"I saw it in the toilet", I whisper, almost making a hissing sound.

"Yes Spencer, that was your girl, you were going to have twins, now there's just the one".

The girls smile widely and shriek, trying to cheer me up, but I swear this cannot be ever happening! I can't be like her, I can't be like us!

Aria looks at me fir a second, studying my face, but then hold me down as I start screaming wildly. My feet and body thrash around as the girls try to calm me. I'm about to scream when I feel a sharp object enter my leg, I look up to see a bunch of nurses around me... Though in seconds... Everything goes black.

 **Hey guys!**

 **I hope you like it, I'm actually** **almost done the next chapter which I meant to be happy, but ending up really depressing;) but I think it's a good (and bigger) twist to the story which you guys will hopefully like if nobody turns out dead... just kidding!!! or am I... :)))) Love you guys:)))) thanks for all the reviews as well. Oh and also, I'm going on a trip for a week next week, we still have wifi and I'll be able to post a little but not as much:))))**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**


	21. Chapter 20: If Your The Last Thing I See

**Spencers P O V**

I am woken to the sound of blurry, slurred voices and feeling my stomach wash from the side to side, my head is pounding so hard and everything's white.

I finally open my eyes and see Toby above me "what happened?", I sob, choking on my own words, "You- you had a panic attack and they had to restrain you", he crys.

At that very moment Aria, Emily, Hanna and Alison slowly enter the room looking nervous, the events then pour straight back into my head, _I'm going to have twins, but it can't be like Alex, I refuse it._

"I want it out!" I say loudly, tears dripping down my face, which have become perfectly accustom too. "You can't Spencer, you've been carrying him for to long", he says.

I said I want it OUT!", I yell, my body shaking up and down.

"I still want it out!", I say, it's been two days since I found out I had another baby inside of me, "it's okay spence", Toby says, sitting next to me and kissing my hair over and over.

Today the nurses and doctors finally decided to let me go home, you'd expect that finding out I had another miracle chance at being a Mom I would be happy, but I just feel empty and depressed, not like the Spencer I was before.

"I love you", Toby whispers into my ear, snapping me out if my thoughts, I nod, leaning back on his chest, "I love you too", I say gently, nuzzling my head into his neck.

"Arias coming over in about five minutes to be with you when I'm at work", he smiles, stroking my face gently, "umm, is it okay if I stay by myself, I want some privacy", I say, hoping in my heart he'll agree, "okay", he smiles lightly, "I'll tell her on my way out".

 **Fifteen minutes later**

I take a huge breath in, then exhale. This is my decision, nobody can change it, it's for the best, Toby will find someone else, the girls will get over it, and I'll be gone.

I turn the bottle over, resulting in a rattle sound coming from the fingernail size like pills. I clench my fists, secretly hoping somebody will help or save me, but it's way to late for that.

I twiddle the pen between my fingers, because what are you really supposed to write for a suicide note, they're your last words. I breathe deeply as the pen touches the paper.

 _All of you always tried, so, so hard. But there's never really a turning point for me... is there, I'm sorry that I'm doing this, I'm sorry that all I did was ever disappoint all of you, here I am, I'm just a disappointment. I hope your not angry, not at me, others or especially yourselves. I had to do this, no, I wasn't forced by -A, A.D or any other initial, I had to do it... For myself. I let all of you down constantly._

 _Dear Emily And Alison,_

 _Take care of the girls, look after your kids and love each other at your best and worst with all your heart. Just know that there's no more pain for you, no more A, no more A.D, no more me. You two were always there for me and that's what I love about you. I hope whole heartedly you don't forget me, my mermaid and Angel. -S_

 _Dear Hanna,_

 _My beautiful, bright and bubbly blonde, you have meant so much for me in the past eight years and I will never forget that, as I hope you will never forget me. You made me smile in the dark, laugh when crying. But nobody could ever fix the pain I feel right now, and I'm so sorry, but just remember I'm always there, even when I'm not. -S_

 _Dear Aria,_

 _I remember when we first met, when we first talked, and every single minute of us together. I love you so much and you are one of the very hardest to leave behind. You were always there for me, and I'm so sorry I wasn't always there for you. You will always be my Sparia, my Aria, please don't ever forget that... Or me Ar, -S_

 _Dear Tobes,_

 _All I can ever think about is you, that's what's always kept me here, and I'm so so sorry Babe, and you are my world. I hope you can go out and find somebody else, someone more smart, more pretty, one that can actually make you happy, I'm sure that'll be quite easy. I'm sorry you'll never get to see your baby, or me again, but I'm always there, in your heart forever, and you'll always have mine, even when it's not beating. Your always going to be my saviour, my Toby-Wan Kenobi, and most of all... my safe place to land -S_

I then grab my phone, and send a three word sentence to Aria, Emily, Hanna, Alison and Toby, _i love you_

A single tear slips down my face onto the paper, I slowly unscrew the bottle and pour all the pills into my hand, there's no stopping now.

I feel the tiny cold tablets slither down my throat with the bitter aftertaste of the vodka that helped it go down, I fall back, a smile appearing on my face, _I'm free_

 **Arias P O V**

"You should invite her, she's not doing any good cooped up in that room all day", Hanna giggles, sitting on the sofa opposite me.

"I agree", nods Emily, thing another sip of her coffee. The brew is quieter today, but it's Monday, just as you'd expect.

"She can't drink coffee though", I say, looking down, Spencer has just been so flat since she left hospital, it worries me a little, but she'll get back to her normal self in no time... I hope.

"Well she can have hit chocolate can't she?", Hanna asks, raising her eyebrows. At that exact moment, my phone flashes and what used to be horrifying sound arises from all our phones, _beep! 'Ring' -ding-_

"It can't be", Hanna says, wide eyed, "Alexs in prison, charlottes dead and Monas in wellby", Emily adds.

I pick up my phone reluctantly and swipe to messages, _i love you._ What? I think, I can see on Emily and Hannas faces they are thinking the exact same thing.

"Why would she send this", Emily asks, looking slightly concerned yet more confused. "Maybe the hormones are just making her emotional", laughs Hanna, but there's still a chill in the air.

"Somethings not right... I can feel it", I say quietly, hoping she meant that for Toby... because I'm getting a bad feeling.

"I agree", Says Hanna, nodding her head, followed by Emily. "Did you guys wanna go check on her", I ask, getting slightly more nervous by the second.

"Sure", chimes Emily, giving a small smile while sitting up.

"Couldn't we have just taken the elevator, my heels are killing me", Hanna complains while tracking up the wooden stairs, "calm your tits goldie locks", jokes Emily, I let out a snort of laughter, having to cover my mouth to conceal the bubbling laughter. Emily doesn't usually make jokes, but when she does there downright hilarious.

Once we're finished laughing we are already right outside the door of Tobys loft, I dangle out my spare key which Toby gave me for Spencers... episodes.

There is dead silence when we enter the loft, "Helloooooo", Hanna says, but there's no reply. I then see Spencers legs out if the side if her bed, _she must be sleeping,_ I think.

"Guys I think she's sleeping", I whisper, pointing to the wide open door. "Well she doesn't look comfortable", giggles Hanna, walking closer.

I don't know what Hannas looking at, but her face has turned white and her mouth is dangling open, me and Emily sense her reaction and sprint over to the doorway, I feel sick.

I run over to Spencer and try to shake her awake, I look at the empty bottle of pills and the piece if paper next to her limp body.

"SPENCER!", Emily screams, her eyes wide and her face distraught, Hanna is next to her frantically running about.

Emily presses her ear to her chest, it's funny how only a few seconds can turn into agonising slow motion hours. "Is she...", Hanna crys, "no, she's breathing, but it's really shallow", she says crying, "we've got to get her to hospital", Emily says, picking up Spencer in her arms. "I'll drive!", I shout in tears while running after the girls.

I can't imagine the horror both Ezra and the customers thought when Emily sprinted past then with a unconscious Spencer in her arms.

Some of them screamed while some shielded their face terrified. In a matter of seconds we are in the car with Emily driving, Hanna in the passenger seat, me in the back with Spencers head in my lap.

I don't really think Emily cares if we are all going to get arrested for speeding, it's all about Spencer now.

I look down at her pale, almost lifeless like face, I start to cry quietly while stroking it. I don't want to think about what went through Spencers mind when she swallowed all those pills, or what's in that letter.

All I can think about is what will happen if she doesn't make it, I wouldn't be able to function at all if she was gone, and I mean not at all.

But then... I see her brown eyes flutter open, "Spencer!", I say, I look up to tell Emily and Hanna. But I am welcomed with shards of glass in my face, for a second I don't know what's going on, but then I see the truck on the side of the road in the corner of my eye. I see the blood everybody's faces, I see the ditch we're hurling a towards, I see Hanna and Emily being lurched forward and backwards, I see my life flash before my eyes, but the last thing I see is Spencer, before hearing the shattering screams of Hanna and Emily, but then it all goes black.

 **Woah, so I sort of meant that to be a happy chapter, but then it turned depressing, then into a cliffhanger... Well I really hope you guys like this! I'm not to sure yet if I'm going to make anybody get seriously injured or even die, but if you have any ideas for the next chapter please leave them below!:))))))) But I also won't be able to probably post it tomorrow since I am going into hospital fir the day as an outpatient and HOPEFULLY won't be admitted:))))))**


	22. Chapter21: Forgetful

**Hey guys!**

 **I hope you enjoyed the last chapter and I'm really sorry I made some of you cry! ;) I'm also going to be a doing a big turnaround soon, which hopefully you guys will like! And sorry if there are any spelling mistakes since I'm in a bumpy car writing this:))))**

 **Arias P O V**

The bright lights flash around me and everythings blurry, even my mind. It then comes to me why I'm here, all I can think about is the girls, are they okay? Are they... I can't think like that, but I'm terrified of it.

"Babe! Aria! Somebody come!!! SHES AWAKE", somebody yells down the hallway, it takes a few seconds to register it's Ezra. Soon a whole flood of nurses rush in and start waving there hands in my face and asking me things.

"Can you see me?!" "Miss how many fingers am I holding" and pointless questions like that. But I feel fine, I don't see any casts or bandages on me either.

Once they are done poking, pointing and asking I can finally ask the question that terrifies me the most. "What happened to the girls...", I ask, my breathing quickly intensifying.

"We got the news yesterday...", Ezra trails off, my eyes going wide with fear, "Spencer.. Well because- cause she swallowed Te pills, it uh-... Made her almost in a way.. Relaxed so when she hit... Well the thing is that her suicude attempt basically saved her life", he says, "and Hanna me Emily are fine, just scratches and bruises, same with Spence".

I feel my eyes feel with tears, this is really showing me how beautiful and precious life is, and how easy you can lose it, "Oh Ezra", I choke, "we are so lucky".

"Wait! But what about Spencers baby", I say, scared that anything bad will make Spencer even worse. "Well about that, it's a bit weird but... she almost got like, some sort of amnesia. Nothing to Mayjor, she can't remember the past couple of days, and apparently it's quite common for people in crashes", he says, nodding his head.

"Ezra what can't she remember", I say, scared that she won't remember me, I know it's almost impossible but just like Spencer, I get worried a lot. "Personally, I think it's good she can't even member what she can, she's forgotten about trying kill herself, having the baby or twins, she can remember getting pregnant, but only snippets, which is good", he says, tearing up in the end, it's rare for Ezra to cry.

"She lost it... Didn't she, the baby", I ask, Ezra nods, maybe it's for the best... not that I agree with killing babies, just that, in Spencers condition it was a good outcome.


	23. Chapter 22: Yes

**Hannas P O V**

It's been a day since I woke up, I'm so thankful were all okay. Aria, Emily and I are about to see Spencer, apparently the crash hit her head so she can't remember the... well the reason we're here, or the baby.

I don't know what to tell her, I guess you can't exactly just say "hey spence! Oh why, oh we're here because you had a baby in your stomach, tried to kill yourself and accidentally got us all in a crash, but it's all good cause you can't remember". Actually, I think I might try and approach it a nicer way.

I can't help but think it's a good thing, that she lost it and tried to... do it. I mean, if she hadn't, she'd be dead, but... ugh I just don't know.

"You ready?" Emily says, grabbing both me and Arias hands, making it a lot more sentimental than it should. We walk up to her room, there is no sound from the inside, we didn't knock on the door, just in case she's asleep.

I walk in first, or more saying, I was pushed by Aria and Emily. The scene in front of us is one if the most cutest things I've ever seen.

Toby laying down next to Spencer, Spencer is fast asleep on his shoulder and Toby, who is also asleep, leaning on Spencers head with his arms wrapped around her protectively. "Oh my gosh, we need a couple name for these two", she says.

"How about... Spoby", Aria whispers, trying not to wake them.

"Wait... who's a Spoby", Toby slurs, waking up from his slumber, though still embracing Spencer tightly. "It's all good", Emily giggles quietly.

"How is she", I ask, looking down at her pale and very slim complextion. "She's managing", he smiles, sadly, rubbing her side as she nestles against his collarbone.

"Though... I don't know how to bring it up... The baby", he whispers, "the doctor said if we tell her there's a high chance she'll remember, and I don't know if I'm prepared too, I mean, we know very well what she can be capable of".

I nod, don't wanting to think about what could have happened, what if she had of died?

"Tobes", I hear from Spencer as she shuffles against him, "hey Spence", he whispers soothingly. "Remember, how you said you needed to show me something, what is it", she asks, awaking fast.

Toby gulps, I'm scared about what he's bout to show her, I'm scared she'll try again, I'm scared that she will hurt herself.

He knows there's no going back, last time words were taken back Spencer ended up with pills down her throat and a note at her side. He reaches his hand down to his pocket and pulls out a small slip of black and white laminated paper.

I immediantly know what it is, and the girls do too, the ultrasound. I take a deep breath in as Spencer gently grabs it from Tobys hold, lifting open the flap.

She stares down at it for a couple of seconds, but what feel like hours. I know very well by her expression she can remember everything now.

I'm waiting for the screams, for the restraints, for the sedative, for the panic attacks. But all that escapes her lips is a small, trembling voice.

"Yes", she says, looking up at Toby with glassy eyes. He studies her for a minute, trying to understand what she meant with out saying anything that could upset her.

"What?", he says gently, placing his hands in hers and giving them a squeeze. "I saw it... the ring", She breathes deeply, "I love you Toby".

 **Hope you guys liked it! I actually really liked this chapter! And yesssssssss, there's going to be so much more Spoby to come! And also if you guys wanna check out my new two stories if you haven't already, Sticks and Stones and Perfectly Broken.**


	24. Chapter 23: Breathe Me In

**Spencers P O V**

I breathe in and out, the paper clasped gently in my shaking hands, trying not to let the tears fall.

But wait... so am I engaged now. I've got everything I've ever wanted. But why do I still feel so worthless?

The past couple of days have been absolutely crazy! So many forms and two little funerals to plan, which I'm sure will be as heartbreaking as it seems. I don't want to personally, but its for Toby, Matthew and Olivia.

Matthew and Olivia are the names I chose for my babies, that I genuily feel guilty about not missing...

"So are you ready to go home?", Emily asks, oh thats right... I forgot. In all honesty, I don't feel safe and don't want to go back home, I guess the truth is, I don't feel safe with myself. I nod, unsure of what else to do.

Toby lifts me up and I sit in his arms, nuzzling into his collarbone, his signature cologne fills my senses, almost feeling like I'm melting into his welcoming embrace.

"I say yes too...", he smiles, kissing my forehead.

I want to reply... But I can't. My the air is caught in my chest and every thing is blocked.

"I can't breathe!", I croak, my eyes rolling to the back of my head.

 **Hey guys! Sorry this was so short! I can't post that many chapters this week since I'm going to Baku fir Vacation tomorrow! But trust me, next chapter has a huge bad twist then a amazing good Spoby twist. So hang in there:))))**


	25. Chapter 24: Old Crushes Die Hard

**Tobys P O V**

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do.."

"What do you mean there's nothing you can do", I sob loudly, Emily holds onto me as Caleb holds me so I don't run to her.

"She's only got 24 hours to live"

"No! What do you mean it's only fucking pneumonia it's not cancer!", I screech loudly at the doctor.

"I'm sorry Mr Cavenaugh, I suggest you spend all the time you have left with your fiancé"

My heart is broken and barely beating, "she was too weak, she's going to die, I'm so sorry", he says, walking away.

I've never ever cried so much before, Aria is balling her eyes out in Ali's shoulder who's crying too. Hanna is clinging to Emily and Ezra and Caleb hold me back.

I need to see her. I need to see Spencer. I run to her room as quick as I possibly can, the sight in front of me twists my heart.

The love of my life lying in a bed, with various machines hooked up to her tiny, frail body, her heart on life support. She's in a coma but I know she can hear me, "oh Spencer", I cry, shaking as I hold her bony hand.

That's when I know I have to do it, it's either now, or never. "Caleb", I say, trying to hide the tears in my voice, "give me the rings", he nods, reaching in his pocket to pull out to, red, velvet and gold rimmed boxes.

I know this is what Spencer would have deeply wanted, right in her heart, I hope Alex knows what she's caused, she will pay for this, if she hadn't put so much stress on Spencer she would be next to be in a white dress.

I hold up the ring, I have to do this know. I slip it onto her pale, blue like finger, then slip the next onto mine.

This is never how I imagined our wedding, but if it has to be this way I'll take it. "I do", I whisper, erupting into tears. I can see in the corner of my eyes the gang, Emily, Hanna, Aria, Alison, Ezra and Caleb.

I then kiss her lips, it hurts, not having her kissing back. I break off, painfully knowing this will be our last. But I'm welcome with a sight I never would have thought, Spencer looking up at me, dazed and confused.

But then a smile emerges on her face, not a good one, a scary one, a crazy persons smile, a psychopaths smile.

Shs then leans in, and presses her mouth to my ear. "Old crushes die hard huh?", She whispers, but it's not Spencer, the brutish accent sends a wash of dread sweeping through my veins, I remember. _I remember everything single thing now._

"Alex...", I whisper.

 **Hey guys!**

 **Omg Alex has been posing as Spencer again! But don't worry, it hasn't been for long, only for a little bit. And there's also going to be a big twist between Toby and Alex from years prior. I hope you guys like this chapter! Next ones going to have a huge Spoby scene and soon there will be a turn around I promise:)))**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**


	26. Chapter 25: Seeing Double

**TRIGGER WARNING!!!: Gore, Panic Atacks, Other things I haven't chosen in my story yet;)**

 **Spencers P O V**

My eyes open at the sight of flashing lights, my body is sore and achy and I've never felt so nauseous, my chest feels like it is filled with smoke and my throat feels tight and scratchy.

I look down, I am immediately shocked at what I see. My body is only in my underware and bra, my skin is incredibly dirty and littered with cuts and huge bruises covering large parts of my body _what happened to me?_

 _Wait! Was I... No, it can't be, it doesn't feel like before._ It only takes me a few more seconds to see my surroundings, I'm in the air... I'm held up about a metre off the ground, pinned to the wall by huge, metal chains and what look handcuffs stopping me from getting off.

My limbs honestly feel like I'm about to fall off, last thing I know I had woken up with Toby by my side... I said yes, then the others went to get food, then a black hoodie came out of nowhere and grabbed me.

"What a ya thinking bout Spence", I hear a cheery voice behind me, it can't be... It honestly really can't be.

"Did you miss me", she says, blowing a kiss.

"What- what no! How?", I stutter, feeling sick to my stomach, "how could it be you? How could you help her!".

"I guess you can say I'm not who you think I am

"Then who are you?", I cry, how could this really, seriously be happening.

"It's Courtney Bitch!"

 **Hey guys!**

 **Thanks for all you kind reviews and sorry for this cliffhanger;)))**


	27. Chapter 26: Chains and Shackles

My face shows pure horror, she looks just like Ali.

"Geez Spencer... Don't be so dramatic", she giggles, reaching down for her neck until she's reaches a rubber like spot... Wait... It's a mask.

A feel a rush of terror rush through my veins as she lifts it off, if 'she' is even a she.

But who I see is even worse... Just so much worse, I want to be sick, I want to disappear and I want Toby. "It's okay, you didn't die", Charlotte whispers, walking closer.

"Your dead", I stutter.

"No, Bethany's dead, and Courtney... And almost you now", she giggles, almost like its a game... But hasn't it been all along.

"Who's Courtney and Bethany?", I ask.

"Sit back and relax on your chains Spence, your on for a hell of a ride".

"So twins just don't run in the family, the drakes are known for being all twins. Like you and Alex, me and Bethany, Grace and Lily, Jessica and Mary and Ali and Courtney. Bethany was my twin, and she loved playing the game, for a very long time actually. Until Mona killed her on the belltower, thinking she was me. And when Bethany was 'murdered' all those years ago, it was Courtney, understand it now", she says, the shock is overwhelming me and I'm so scared.

"What-.. What are you gonna do to me", I cry, my hair feels mattered around my shoulders, swinging from side to side when I speak or move, along with the chains pulling me to the wall. "When can I go home??".

"Oh! I forgot! You aren't familiar with the game. Well, it's pretty simple. I keep you here and blah blah, and we play my favourite game to do with my dolls. So you have a choice, I'll pick one if your friends and family each day, and I either hurt them... Or you, it's your choice", she smiles.

"First up... Melissa"

 **Hey guys!**

 **I hope you guys have liked these past few chapters! Oh and also, if you aren't familiar on who Courtney was, in the PLL books, Courtney was Alison's twin:)))**


	28. Chapter 27: Watch Me

**Arias P O V**

"So you really think duct taping her to a chair will help..." I say, raising my eyebrows at Caleb and Toby attempting to tie a squirming Alex into a chair.

"Come on, it's not like she's gonna hurt us", says Caleb, rolling his eyes at me.

"Ugh excuse me?", I rant, "this bitch tried to chop up Spencer with a axe and gave my fiancé a concussion!".

"You know I'm not deaf?" Grunts Alex, in her now starting to get annoying accent.

"Well you better shut up or I'll make you", I snap, glaring at her. "So little, but your big", she giggles, how dare she use Spencers line for me! How dare she hurt my best friend!

"Where's Spencer!", I shout, walking over to her, I see in the corner of my eyes the girls and Ezra in the background.

"I'm pretty sure she's alive so that's okay", she says, acting like its no big deal.

"What the hell do you mean alive!", I yell, showing glitches of pure rage in my eyes.

"Well I could change that, pretty sure I still have that axe under my bed", Alex laughs.

"TELL ME THE TRUTH!!" I screech, getting up all in her face.

"Okay okay chiawawa", she laughs, "Charlottes got her, and she's playing with Spencer".

"Charlotte...", Ali whispers, walking forward. "Yep, you know, blonde, my sister, blue ey-", "I KNOW WHO SHE IS!", Alison interrupts Alex, banging her fist on the chair.

"Sorry, but she never liked you. It was just for show, and she's fine. Bethany was the dead one, Mona killed her, she's Charlottes twin. The one in your grave is Courtney, your twin in Radley. Now do you get it now?".

Emily then runs after Alison who's run off crying into the bathroom, I bury my face in my hands, I need to find Spencer.

It's then when a loud ping comes from my laptop, the sound I know all too well. I approach it slowly, the others looking behind me.

I wish so badly I never opened it, I'm gagging at the sight and the girls are shielding there eyes and Calebs taking Toby away from seeing it.

It's Spencer, chained to a wall in the air, her body completely bashed, bruised, cut and dirty, in barely any clothes whatsoever. She is screaming and crying loudly in pain from the stick of red hot metal pressed against her thigh from a figure in a black hoodie.

I know it's a previous recording, I look over my shoulder, Hannas in the bathroom, being sick from the sight, while Emilys held tightly by Ali while they both cry there eyes out. I feel a pair of warm, arms wrap around me, I immediantly sense it's Ezra and melt into his embrace.

I then look over... What the hell? "Guys", I sniffle, "where the hell is Alex?"


	29. Chapter 28: Guns and Roses

**Spencers P O V**

"Hey sis, long time no see!" Giggles somebody behind me, but it wouldn't take a genius to figure out who said it. I groan loudly, mostly because of Alexs presence in the room, partly because of my leg burning.

"So you really chose Melissa, why?" She laughs. "Because shes my sister", I pant, trying to unshackle myself from these chains.

Alex stops cold, studying my face, her expression scares me. She then unlocks the cage, glass door trapping me inside and steps in.

"I'm your sister you bitch!", she snarls, hitting my ankle hard with a vase, I feel the blood drip down my leg and onto the floor, I know this isn't part of the game, but for Alexs pleasure.

The pain makes me feel sick, I start to cry when I can see the skin of my leg has opened up so you can see the bone.

"STOP PLEASE!", I screech as she continues hitting it.

"Well then it's Melissa!", she shouts, letting it fall and smash on the floor, "but it will be her head!!"

My whole body is shaking and I feel faint, I just want to get out, what did I ever do to deserve any of this.

"Who's next?" Charlotte chimes, almost laughing, how could they do such sick and twisted things like this? I have to get out.

"How about Mona?", Alex suggests, raising her eyebrows and shrugging.

"Okay bring her out!" Charlotte asks as Alex walks away. What they do mean by bring her out?

But in a matter of seconds by jaw drops, Mona is being wheeled by Alex on a bed strapping her too it, much like Elliot did with Alison.

"What should we do Al?" Charlotte says nicely, walking up to the twin.

"Ughh, well we could use... How about poison", she says. How?.. Just how can they do this, how messed up in the head are they.

"So.. Here's the deal, Mona, Spencer chooses if she wants to get poisoned or poison you", Alex says squating down, talking to her like she's a five years old. Mona looks terrified, her skin is dirty, but not near as much as mine.

"Spence", Alex whispers, "So, do you really wanna help Mona, don't you remember how she pretended Toby was dead, how she started all the A stuff and all the bad things she's done".

At that moment hundreds of emotions run through my mind, but I know I have to keep Mona safe. "I.. - I'll do it, keep Mona safe", I pant.

And with that Alex slams a needle from her pocket right into my arm. It stings and I immediantly feel sick, pain is swimming through my body and I'm shaking and convulsing.

I start to see star and I feel vomit escape from my lips, my body is jerking from side to side, I feel like I'm paralysed. I see Mona on the ground, screaming for me, I can see in her eyes she scared I'll die. Which passes onto mine... _Am I going to die in here?_

 **Arias P O V**

"Alex must have put her phone somewhere else, it's not showing up on the radar", Caleb states, clicking his mouse continuously, Hanna is still in tears and Emilys shaking with Alison holding her hand.

"What did Spencer ever do?" Alison says, her voice breaking. "She never deserved any of this", I cry back.

It's then without any warning a video comes straight up onto Calebs laptop and starts playing.

It's Spencer shaking in different directions, coughing and puking at the same time, for whatever reason Mona is on the floor, screaming Spencers name and trying to get her out if this possessed like state.

"She's been poisoned", Ezra says. "How do you know?" Hanna cries, "I teached and studied biology", he adds, "I don't know what poison but it doesn't seem good".

Then Alex and Charlotte shift into view, laughing hysterically at Spencer on the wall.

Then Alex grabs a gun, I don't know what to think, I'm so scared.. Is she going to shoot Spencer, but then she raises it up to us... the screen I guess.

Then it goes off... "We have to find Spencer", I say.


	30. Chapter 29: Those Tiny Details

**Spencers P O V**

My eyes slowly flutter open reluctantly, not even wanting to wake up. I wish this was just a bad nightmare, that none if this was real.

I push myself up off the cold, hardened concrete floor, splattered with dirt and my bloodstains. I feel a throbbing pain in my head, not to mention my foot. I wonder what the others are thinking... Does Toby miss me, does he even know? Or is Alex pretending to be me again?

It's then when I hear two muffled voices behind me, and it doesn't take a splint if hesitation to think about who the hell it could be.

I don't want to look behind me, but I have too. Alex and Charlotte are staring and laughing behind the thick, glass door holding me captive.

I want to scream and cry, but no voice comes out, I wonder where Mona is, is she dead, oh god I hope not.

I hear the door crank open, the distinctive machine like buzz rings as it opens wider then closes, leaving me and Charlotte sitter together in the same room.

"So we're not gonna play the game today", she says in a kind-like, harmonising type tone.

I don't say anything, I'm scared if I do, she'll make me play it. But I don't know what I'm more scared of... Playing the game... Or what I'll play instead...

 **Arias P O V**

"Guys come on!", I say annoyed "we have to help somehow and find her".

I look over at Toby in the corner, his face buried in his hands, Caleb patting his back. They had always been best friends, as they would call themselves, 'the brood of ex boyfriends', but I guess that's changed now.

"You okay Toby?" Emily asks, offering a weak smile. "I just can't believe this is happening", he sighs, Hanna nods, "and that I had sex with her".

"You what!", Hanna snaps, her voice surprised, "wait", I trail off, did he just say what I think he did.

"You had sex with Alex", Emily says, her mouth wide open and he eyebrows raised.

"I forgot to tell you guys?" Toby questions.

"Oh yea you seemed to forget that tiny detail", Hanna says sarcastically.

"I thought she was Spencer", he says, all of us still not looking the slightest bit amused, "oh come on guys you can't say you didn't either, really, a horse and a blind girl figured it out before us!"

 **Sorry guys this chapters so short! And thanks so much for all the love, support and reviews:))) also there's going to be a new game for Spencer and a huge twist!**


	31. Chapter 30: Two More Secrets

**Trigger Warning: Talk of Rape, Abuse, Alex being annoying**

"It's quite easy, I will tell you one of my secrets if you let me tell all your little friends yours", Charlotte grins, it makes me sick, their games disgust me.

I nod, but what I supposed to do, shake my head, I'd probably be killed for something like that.

"I'll go first", Charlotte giggles, "I don't have any secrets", I say, struggling to get out if these chains.

"Please Spence...", she starts, "I watched you all through Highschool... Your bound to have some..", she stops hesitantly, almost like she's trying to find the right words, "habits".

My blood runs cold, my eyes fixed onto hers. How did I ever think A wasn't going to know! But I need to know Charlottes secret, and mine is long gone.

"Deal", I say sharply, hoping I won't regret it, stupid to think really, of course I will regret it! This is A and A.D I'm making deals with.

"Charlotte can go first... Since its your first round", Alex says seductivley, for God knows why, but again, this is A.D I'm talking too.

"Your making it sound like some sort of drinking game", I snarl, rolling my eyes ever so slightly.

"I'll be sure to use that too!", Alex chuckles, doubling over in what she thinks is funny.

"So, wanna hear my secret... or watch it", she giggles.

I wish I never said what I'm about to say, and I was right, I will regret this so much "watch it".

From the ceiling comes down a huge, platinum tv, it looks innocent enough until the dreadful scene appears on the screen.

It takes me a minute to realise it's me, lying on the ground, screaming, with a black hoodie hunched over me. The flashbacks flood into my mind like a river, I hold back a scream as tears pour over my eyes, dropping onto my pale, hollow cheeks.

"Why are you showing me this", I cry, my voice sounding raspier than I imagined. "Because I just love making sex tapes", she giggles.

What does she mean by I... Wait no.. No! No! Please oh my god no. I feel my body shudder and I feel immediantly sick to my stomach, which has dropped lower than my drooping eyes.

"What did I ever do to you!", I cry loudly, I don't know what I did to deserve this. To be fair I accidently sort if killed her boyfriend! But he was bad! "Why did you do this! Rape is illegal! It's bad and you can't! Have you ever heard of rights!", I screech, the thin air slicing at my words.

"I do what I want where and when!", she smirks, I dodge the knife she throws hitting my head.

"Well then I'm glad our babies are dead!", I shout, I feel so guilty after those words, I shouldn't have even said that.

"And your next", she giggles.

I can't speak, but chest is blocking out air and my vision is closing in, I realise I'm having a panic attack. But this time I don't have Toby, I don't have Aria and I don't have the girls.

I have Charlotte, probably dead bodies in the basement and Alex and her fucking sedatives!

"Your go", Alex whispers, _I have to get out of here..._

 **Hey guys!**

 **I hope you liked this chapter and sorry if it is dark, I tried to make it as... Well let's say pg as I can , even if it didn't seem like it. But I promise you guys when Spencer gets out (which she will) it will be a huge turnaround! I know if this was a huge plot twist, and if you guys didn't get it: Charlotte is basically the Father of Spencers babies. Hope you guys have a amazing week! I'll be updating soon**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**


	32. Chapter 31: Lock It In Your Pocket

**Trigger Warning: Mention of Eating Disorders**

 **Arias P O V**

All I can think about is Spencer, lying alone in that cage, being tortued by the minute. It makes me shudder, I wish there was a way I could find her and get her out! I need too, for her.

"What are we going to do?", I say, not even knowing I was crying until hearing the tears in my voice.

Then it's almost like what I just thought if came through, another live stream on Calebs computer.

We are all waiting for Spencers screams of pain, but none endure. "It's video chat!" Caleb exclaims, furiously clicking the bottoms again.

We all keep back when Charlottes face appears on the screen, "wow, it's strange talking to you without a animated face", she says, nodding her head with a playful smile.

"Let us talk to Spencer", Alison says through gritted teeth. "Ok, I will, but first I have to play the game", she chuckles, my body then fills with dread, "I told her my secret in exchange for me to tell you hers".

I let out a sigh of relief I didn't even know I was holding. "Tell us", Emily says, narrowing her eyes at the evil blonde.

"I'm sure Spencer will tell you mine, so I'll let her do that. Just so you guys know, Spencer really, and I mean really didn't want anybody to know this secret", she says, raising her eyebrows.

"Whatever! We probably know about it anyway!", Hanna snaps, almost like spitting out fire.

"If you say so", she says through gritted teeth.

"Come on!", I say, getting more and more impatient by the minute.

"Well then. Through all of Highschool, even before Alison disappeared, Spencer had a problem", She says, waiting for us to say something before telling the secret.

"Yes, we know about her drugs and that's all fixed and we supported her through that", I say, scared what Charlotte will do, even if she is through a screen at the moment.

"Oh my little doll", she laughs, staring at me, "this is worse than that, I'm quite surprised you guys never figured it out, especially you Han, I mean, you were a expert. But really, didn't you ever pay attention to her, or what she ate, what she did, where she went. Or I guess somebody did, Ali".

I look over at Alison, who's close to tears, I then look back at Charlotte, "I would be surprised if she wasn't doing it now".

"What are you saying?" I ask, my voice shuddering whenever she speaks. "Spencers a bulimic Aria".

It then all falls into place, I feel numb, stupid, weak I feel small. I look over at Toby, who has Caleb trying to console him. "Now, I will let you guys talk to Spencer in exactly five minutes for ten minutes, first I will let you guys... Talk", Charlotte says as I watch the screen go black.

I turn around and look at the others, "how could we not realise this", I cry, tears dropping down my face. I then look at Ali, "what did she mean by you knew Alison", Hanna says, looking confused.

"This is all my fault", she says, hitting a vase to the ground then collapsing to a red chair in a fit of sobs, even more hysterical then the time she explained to us how she was buried alive.

"What do you mean", Emily says, who's got her arms wrapped around Alison and rubbing her back soothingly.

"That time, when we were about to go to the country club, and we were in our bikinis and waiting for Ian to take us", She crys with heaving sobs, it was so long ago, but I remember it as clearly as water. "I got a text from Ian saying he was about five minutes away, and all you guys were there, but I couldn't find Spencer, so I went to find her. I went to the bathroom and she'd been in there for about ten minutes so I was confused about why. And I thought since I knew she was speeding she was taking drugs, so I opened the door with my bobby pin. And she was on the floor over the toilet, making herself.. God I can't do this" Alison crys, her body shaking and her crys so Lou's I'm positive everybody in the apartments can hear us.

"How was it your fault?" Hanna crys, tears dropping down her eyelids and onto her perfectly contoured cheeks.

"Because.. There was this one time when Spencer and I were studying, and she ate a whole box of cookies, and I called her fat and ugly but I was just jealous because she was skinnier than me!" She crys agin, Emily rocking her back and forth as she produces heart wrenching sobs.

I don't say anything, I want to feel angry at her but I don't, since it was so long ago. It's then when on Caleb screen pops up Spencers face.

"Oh my god Spencer! I'm so so so sorry Spencer oh my god", Alison crys, running up to the computer.

"We can talk about that later but now you guys need to get me out!" She says, tears running down her cheeks.

"I can't say much, they're watching me", she whispers, quiet enough so only we can hear.

"What are they doing to you babe", Toby asks, saying something for like the first thing today, "tortueing me and hurting me please please please help", she whimpers again.

"Actually I changed my mind! Times up Spencer", I hear Alex say in the background, I'm so angry! This is all we get from her!

"Remember that time last year for the fourth if July how we went to Austins house! It was sooo fun", Shebeams before everything goes black.

"What was that about", Alison sniffles. "She smart", Caleb says, "huh", I ask, "I think she just told us where she is", he says getting off his seat.

We run after him, out the door and into the car he just opened, _this time, I know we can save her._


	33. Chapter 32: Numbing Silence

**Tobys P O V**

The cars bumpy, the lights are bright and the minutes are hours. All I can think of is Spencer, is that what she meant? I dont remember to going to a party at Austins, but then again I was with Yvonne.

"We're here", Caleb says, rushing out of the car, but he stops in his steps, I don't know what he's looking at, all I see is a empty patch of land.

I get out with the girls and Ezra, they all look confused, "I swear to god it was here", Aria pants, placing her arms on her knees.

"Tobes", Emily whispers, pointing to the place next to it, I immediantly know Spencers in there, waiting for us to run to the door at her sentence.

I am filled with emotion looking at the raggedy, chipped stone walls filled with so many memories. "What about it", Ezra says, sporting a face of confusion.

"It... It's the motel Spencer and I slept together and shared our first kiss", I nod, trying to ignore the tears begging to be let out.

"She has to be in there", Caleb whispers, putting his hand on my shoulder.

At those exact words I start running, I know I won't stop till I find her, I'm heading straight to the room we were in all those years ago.

I bash open the door, not caring about to blood and cuts on my hands, I feel relived and shocked, my beautiful Spencer , chained to the floor looking like a mess.

At this moment I don't care about Charlotte, I don't care about Alex, I don't care about anyone except Spencer, I hold her shaking body, I know if I had my way I'd never let go. "Toby", she cries, her tears soaking through my button up top, "I've got you Spence, I've got you", I cry, inhaling her scent. I know the others are at the door, scared but now able to sleep knowing that she... Is.. Well safe, in the mindset of things.

"I thought.. I thought in the future I'd never see you again", I crys, holding me tighter than she ever has.

"Spencer...", I say, lifting up her face to meet mine, "there is no future without you".

She then slams her lips onto mine with outermost passion, I love this girl, I love her with all my heart, she completes me.

"Your my safe place to land", she says, looking into my eyes.

"And then there's me, the forgotten one", I hear behind me, Spencer and I both turn around to see Alex, aiming a gun at us, a phycotic smile on her face, for a second all is silent, numbing silence. Then the sound of bullet shells ricocheting off the walls fills my ears, as well as the sickening smell of gunpowder.

Then all is silence, _numbing silence_


	34. Chapter 33: Sparia

"How's she been holding up?"

"She hasn't left his side since"

"I can't imagine what she's going through, all of the drama... Now this, wait, but how's she been by his side, when I got shot they only let you come visiting hours"

"Some nurse made a joke if she really wanted to stay with him to bring her own pillow and blanket"

"And..."

"She left, then twenty minutes after strolled in, put down her pillow and slept next to him"

"That's so Spencer"

"I know, I just remember him, on the ground and blood, and just... No it's just gross Caleb"

"It's okay Han, we're all safe... I mean, I just hope he wakes up... God knows what would happen to Spencer if he..." "-Don't say it, don't think like that".

"They've had to restrain her about... Five times so she's staying with Aria since the hospital thinks she's a hazard... God if I was those doctors he probably admit her with Spencers... Past Caleb"

 **Arias P O V**

"She's really sorry about last night" I say, putting my hand on Ezras forearm, "it's okay, it would have been the same for me if you got shot", she smiles, wrapping his arms around me.

"She told me this morning what it was about... The nightmare", I whisper, ""mmmhh", he hums, waiting for my reply.

"She said it was about Toby getting shot and dieing in her arms", I anwser, a single tear falling down my cheek, "God... I can't imagine what she's going through", He smiles sadly, wiping the tears away with his thumb, I turn to kiss him, but interrupted when a familiar face appears in the hallway.

"Hi", she says meekly, a white robe around her waist and her hair wrapped in a half wet towel.

"Hey!", Ezra says cheerily, it was his idea to let Spencer stay. "Hi Spence", I say, walking up to her and giving her a unsuspecting hug, which she takes willingly.

Once I break off I see she has tears in her eyes and her lip quivering, I look at her concerned at the big puddles of water in her eyes.

"What's-" "I hurt", she interrupts, a laugh like sob escapes from her lips as two if her tears fall down much to her reluctance.

"I know Spence", I say sadly, opening my arms wide for her again, she erupts into sobs against my shoulder, Ezra giving a sympathetic look.

She then let's go and pushes me away suddenly, backing away, "I'm sorry", she stutters, "I'm a mess". She quickly wipes of the tears off her cheeks, running into her room and closing the door, clearly embarrassed.

"Spencer open the door!" I shout from outside, "no, please just let me be alone for a little bit" she replies, her voice shaky and quick.

"No Spencer! Please open the door, I don't trust you on your own", I say, my voice soon becoming shaky as well, I look at Ezra, my expression almost hysterically scared, he then runs to the kitchen and grabs the key we bought, just I case anything like this happened to Spencer.

"No!" She yells, more aggressive. "Spencer, I love you and I want you to be safe!" I cry, my voice is now riddled with shakes, I've never felt so scared.

Ezra then comes in and gently pushes me aside, desperately trying to unlock the door, finally it opens.

Spencer is sitting with her head in her knees on the floor, I wrap my arms around her, which she crawles into. "Oh Spencie, I thought you were going to-" "I know what you were thinking", She says into my sentence.

"Was I the only one think it?" I sigh, stroking her damp hair and wiping away her tears. She just cries harder and harder, "please tell me", I whisper.

She nods weakly, I'm now trying my hardest not to burst into tears, for Spencers sake, "please never do anything like that! I love you", I cry, my tears falling in her hair.

"Aria!" I hear Ezra say, I lift up my head slightly to see Ezra holding the phone, I wait for him to reply.

"Get Spencer! It's Toby!"


	35. Chapter 34: I Don't Want To Know

**Spencers P O V**

I feel just like I did when I found Toby in the woods. Sick with fear, my chest beating a hundred miles a second, tears running down my face, my feet unable to stop sprinting towards him, all I can hear is my sobs and the sound of my own heart pumping out of my chest.

I don't know where I'm going, I don't want to know, I don't want to see or hear anything, I just want to stop. I hear people shouting out my name from behind me, yelling things I don't understand or can't make out due to my cries, nevertheless, I don't want to know.

It's then when I feel somebody grab me from the side, hugging me swiftly, I expect it to be a nurse, or somebody else who is sick of me, but that's until I see a lock of Blonde, caramel hair dangle across my face.

"Spence... Whats wrong?" Alison says, inspecting all of me while still holding me tight, I don't reply. "Hey... hey Spence", she cooes soothingly while I start to sob louder, "breathe okay".

"Toby.. He's dead!" I cry, I then start scream and scream until I can almost feel blood in my lungs and I am gagging. "No... no that isn't true", Alison says, her wide eyed expression trying to understand mine.

"This isn't happening", I cry, I can now almost taste the bile up my throat, "no it isn't, he just woke up, that's why we called you hon", she replies, reassuring me, I'm confused.

"What made you think he was dead", Ali adds, brushing a lock of hair behind my face. "Ezra told me", I stutter, my voice in tears, I have calmed down a little bit more now, it's just reduced to violently shaking and crying.

"Spencer!" I hear from behind me, I turn around to meet the gaze of Emily, who immediately wraps her arms around me protectively, which I melt into in seconds. "Shhhhh", she whispers, the sound calming me instantly.

Her scarf around her shoulder, which my face is buried into, muffles my hysterical sobs. At this point I'm still screaming, louder than before, I don't know why, because Tobys okay, though then I realise I'm having a panic attack.

I'm coughing so loud I feel sick... but I wish I knew that before I threw up all over Emily, "Here", Alison says kindly, grabbing a plastic, yellow sick bag off the wall while rubbing my back as I continue to be sick.

"It's okay", Emily says soothingly, "come with me", leading Spencer to the bathroom.

 **Alisons P O V**

"I'm sorry", I hear Spencer say to Emily, "don't worry about it, it happens with the twins all the time", Emily jokes back, interrupted by a loud gag from Spencer, "oh honey", I hear Emily say, leading her to the bathroom once more.

It's then when I see Aria and Ezra, I straight away feel a wash of anger through me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I snap, turning to Ezra. He sports a confused expression, his eyes squinted, "what do you mean..." He trails off.

"You told Spencer Toby was dead!" I shout, only coming to realise after how loud I sounded. "Oh God", he whispers, burying his head into his hands, "I meant it as a joke".

"Well it's not very funny", I spit out like fire, I then storm off, going to meet Emily and Spencer.

 **Hey guys!**

 **I hope you like this chapter! Sorry I didn't do a Spoby chapter, I wanted to but I didn't have enough time because I'm about to board a plane, so hopefully I don't crash;)**


	36. Chapter 35: Don't Look Now

**Hey guys! (I'm starting to think I start every Authors Note that way... I watch to much Shane Dawson)**

 **So anyway, this chapter is quite sad and I'm super super sorry for all you Ezria fans out there! You never deserved this... I just felt like I needed to lay off of Spencer for a bit;) But it's still going to be centred around her and Spoby;))))))**

 **Also I'd like to dedicate this chapter to two of my best friends Tayla and Hannah, who helped me come up with this, love you guys sm**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**

 **Emilys P O V**

"Why won't they let me see him?" Spencer complains, tears filling her red, puffy eyes.

"They just need to do a few tests that's all", I soothe to her, stroking her hair.

I see Aria and Ezra in the corner, contemplating whether to come and say sorry, they should, well that's what I think personally.

"Hey Spence", Aria says gently, walking over, soon followed by Ezra.

"Spence I am so so sorry, I meant it as a joke and I will never do that again", he says, I can tell by his tone it's a general apology and that he meant it truthfully.

 **Alexs P O V**

The white walls despise me, but what I'm about to do will be worth it, it's for Charlotte, which is definitely worth it.

I take the steps quietly, not that I need to, but just to be careful for my plan. It's then I see him, Toby, standing up, that's strange, I shot him... But there's always a second time for that. I was supposed to kill that bastard, now I'm just finished what he started.

He's standing in front of Emily, wrapping her arms around a crying Spencer, what a pathetic bitch, also with Alison and Aria by his side.

I'm barely a metre away from him, gun pointed right at his chest, I need to do this to Toby. "Ezra watch out!" I hear Emily scream after I fire the bullet, blood is everywhere and I feel people grabbing me away.

I did it wrong! I shot Ezra, not Toby, it wasn't supposed to be like this, I don't give a fuck about Ezra I just want Toby dead.

 **Emilys P O V**

"Why should I forgive you", Spencer says, obviously angry. I'm about to add my opinion when I see the last person I expect to see, Alex holding a gun.

"Ezra watch ou-" but I don't have time, the bullets ricoche sound bounces off the walls, I feel the warm sticky liquid splash my Spencer and I's face.

Aria is screaming, I am too, Alison has wrapped her arms around Spencer so she can't see, not that she would ever want to see the red and pink flower blooming on Ezras chest.

Aria is crying and screaming at the sight of him, doctors and nurses are trying to help.

"I love you Aria", he chokes, I see his eyes roll back befire he is being taken away, I don't see Aria, I just see her sprinting out, what did we do to deserve this?


	37. Chapter 36: Open My Eyes

**Alison's P O V**

My limbs are shaking, the sound of the gunshot looping in my head over and over, the smell of blood and gunpowder lingers in the air, the inconsolable brunette crying into my chest, refusing to open her eyes.

My eyes are tightly closed shut, ignoring the world, my grip is tightened around Spencer, I want to run over to Emily and Aria, but then again Aria flew out the door before, and again, I don't want to open my eyes.

It doesn't take a genius to know Ezras dead, he was taken away in the stretcher, now most likely to the morgue. Spencers crys echo about in the room, I hold her tighter.

Now about forty minutes have passed and yet have I opened my eyes, but now I know I will. I squint them open reluctantly, I gag at the sight, a large pool of blood covering the floor, I stand up, Spencers head still buried in my chest, standing up with me.

"Come on Spence, were almost there", I whisper quietly as we approach the door. Once I have closed the door and the smell of drying blood has vanished from our senses, I let go of Spencer. I see in the corner of my eyes Emily running up to us.

I've been trying to be as kind as I can to Spencer, but whenever I look at her I feel gut wrenching guilt. Nobodies talked to her about it, better yet brought it up, which I personally think is stupid, you can hide emotions, but not Bulimia.

She stands there, completely frozen, she body shaking slightly, her breaths jaggered and rough, but no tears, she thinks she's strong, that's she's not breaking, that her head is filled with uttermost fear.

I don't want to know what's going on inside her head, the sickening memories, the despiteful people whom have wronged her.

"I need to talk to you two", she says bluntly, though squinting her eyes and biting her bottom lip.

"Fire away", Emily says kindly, I nod in agreement.

"Come sit down", she says emotionless, her eyes are darker than ever, her words dipped in sadness. Emily and I follow behind her, tow in tow.

We find a spot in a completely empty waiting room, you could hear a pin drop in here. The awkwardness follows us all, Emilys eyes are rimmed with tears.

"You guys told me", Spencer says, her eyes filling with tears, she the chokes back a loud sob, "to come to you if I ever need anything, and I think I really, really need your help, I only trust you two, Aria, Hanna and Toby at the moment".

"You can tell us anything Spence", I say, placing my hand in her knee.

"It's just-""Guys come Tobys awake!" I hear, soon realising its Caleb, who has been with Toby almost as much as Spencer, Spencer doesn't think twice, and runs off into his room.

 **Hey guys!**

 **Sorry it's taken so long to upload, I've just had a lot going on! But I'm going to try and get into the routine of uploading every day:) Also, next chapter is a good one! Spencer sees Toby, Aria finds a long lost friend, and Emily, Ali and Spencer finish there converstations. And in some later chapters there's going to be another big twist but it's gonna turn out all good! :D**


	38. Chapter 37: Remember Her?

**Arias P O V**

Tears run down my face and loud sobs explode from my chest, _the streets are dark, it's about seven I think._ The cold air forms around me as I run faster and faster, I'm not sure where I'm going, for once I don't have a plan.

I don't know we're I am at all, the only sound I hear is the loud crys from my mouth, my body shaking as I sprint along the footpath, gravel in my shoes. He's gone, and he's never coming back.

I can't get the picture out of my mind, those small seconds will last a lifetime in my head. I loved him, I love him, even if only one of our hearts are beating.

Why did this have to happen, at that thought I cry louder, if that's even humanly possible. My throat is tightening in on itself, I'm screaming so loud I can feel my lungs bleed.

It's then when I feel someone blow hard against me, crashing and pulling me up, I open my eyes, barely realising I'm still sobbing.

The face is familiar, to familiar, a face that's a welcoming but painful sight "Jake..." I whisper.

 **Alison's P O V**

"I'm so glad he's okay", Emily smiles, breathing out a sigh of relief. "God, me too", I say, "they doctor said he'll be out in about five days and Spencer burst out into tears of happiness".

Emily nods, smiling, she turns her head around to look through the open door, Spencer sitting on the floor, smiling, laughing and playing with the twins, "she's always been good with kids", Emily says, her eyes watching Spencer kindly.

"I got a call this morning, from Jake, he found Aria running distraughtly through the park he's a ranger in, but apparently she's calmed down now and is feeling a little better and she's going to call us when she feels the time is right", I inform, "she just needs some space from RoseWood I think".

"I can't imagine what she's going through", Emily sighs, shaking her head, "but she's strong, she'll get through it", I hear behind me. I turn around to see Spencer, the twins in each of her arms, giving a sympathetic smile.

"Hey Spence", I say, taking Lily so she can sit down. "Thanks", Spencer smiles lightly.

"What did you want to talk to us about? You know yesterday", I say, trying to come across as gentle as I can. Spencer sighs, looking down at her feet, cross legged on the couch.

"You know you can tell us anything", Emily says kindly, placing her hand on Spencers knee, Spencer nods.

"I guess...", Spencer sniffles, I look into her eyes, which are sad and tired, "since I came back to Rosewood, everything's just been so hard", she says, her voice breaking, she breathes in deeply.

"And... And I keep telling myself everything's going to get better and I'm going to be happier... But it's not, everything just keeps getting more and more worse and so do I", she crys, tears running down her face, Emily embraces her in a hug, "it's okay, keep going", I say sympathetically.

"I just feel so sad and empty like everything's breaking, and the world should stop... But people keep going like its a normal day, but it's not, for me", she crys again.

"And I keep failing! At keeping a boyfriend safe! and having a baby!... even at death", she adds."Spence... Your not a failure at all, I'm so so happy your alive", I cry back, Emily nodding, holding her tighter.

Spencer shakes her head drastically and cries harder, "I.. I can't do this anymore". I don't know what to say, I look up at Emily, who is sharing my same concerned and worried expression.

She's basically telling us she doesn't want to be here anymore and it's to hard. It's obvious Emily doesn't know what to say either.

"Because... Because I miss her...", she stutters.

She vowed, she promised herself, we did, us girls that we wouldn't mention her after she died.

"You haven't talked about her since...", Emily trails off.

"I know...", Spencer replies, "you can say it, when she killed herself".

"I miss her too", Emily crys, so do I, more than anything. Her and Spencer were so close, best friends in fact, despite they're age gap, I remember that exact day.

 _It was about two months after I'd came back to Rosewood after faking my death, Emily and I were sitting in my room, looking after PePe and brushing her fur. When we heard the most loudest, shrill scream come from the top story of the Hastings house. I and Emilys heads bolted up, eyes going wide. I remember just hearing Spencer screaming no over and over as we sprinted downstairs. Then loud crys and pleads as we were in front of her house. Then next seconds were a blur._

 _But there's one part I remember so clearly, running up all the winding stairs until the crys reached Kats room. Emily pushed open the door to see Spencer utterly hysterical, trying to wake up her fourteen year old sister. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what happened, it wasn't long until me and Emily too had broken. Her lying on the bed, like she was asleep, almost peacefully, a big note next to her pale body, a empty bottle of pills rested next to her and Kats eyes shut firmly. The next thing I know, paramedics were shooing us away, ambulance sirens playing back and forth in our ears._

"She was my sister", Spencer chokes, "I've never loved anyone as much as her, not even Toby. I should've seen it, I should've known... I should have protected her".

"Do you remember how we had to lie to the police, about her being depressed? When the real truth was that -A forced her into it", she adds.

"The police know now Spence", I say, trying to reassure her.

"I need to be with her", she whispers. "That's not a good idea Spencer", Emily says shakily.

"Who ever said it had to be good", she mumbles.

"Spence... The thing is, it was years ago and why are you coming back to it now", I ask, my eyes searching hers.

Her eyes narrow and go cold and emotionless, "So you think I've just forgotten about her, that I don't think of her every single night before I go sleep! The fact every once in a while I'll go to call her number then realise she's lying, rotting in a grave! That I don't remember her phone lying next to her dead body with the message 'It's either you or Spence, just remember not to make a mess sweetie'", Spencer screams, lashing out at us, tears forming in her red puffy eyes and rage in her chest.

"I'm so sorry Spence, I didn't mean it like that", I say gently, barely realising I was crying too.

"Don't be", she says coldly before strutting off.


	39. Chapter 38: Hanna

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry that some of you guys are sad that I killed off Ezra;( Also, I'm probably going to be ending this story soon, but I'll end it at a good note when I do:)**

 **Hannas P O V**

I haven't seen the girls in days, I don't know what to say, so much has been going on. What happened to Ezra, Toby getting shot, Spencer and her struggles and Cece and Alex getting put in jail.

I look across the room to see Mona sitting on the couch, watching the all day game channel, not that I'm surprised. I hear Caleb in the bathroom, having a shower. Tobys supposed to be coming home today, which I'm grateful for.

Emily and Alison called me, they told me about how Aria was coping, but was choosing to stay away from Rosewood for a little bit, how Toby was coming down, then the couple told me Spence had a breakdown yesterday. I was almost shocked when they told me why, it was because of Kat, it was like all the memories came flooding back into my head.

I didn't know her to well, I mean, I talked to her and saw her when I came over to Spencers, and I went to her funeral of course, but I didn't know her very much.

I look up at the clock,Toby would be with Spencer by now, which makes me smile, I haven't talked to Spencer for a while, since... well what happened at the hospital.

I wasn't there when it happened, but it sounded bad, from what I heard. I can't imagine, nevertheless I don't want to think how Aria is feeling.

I sigh, adjusting the pins on my new design.

 **Sorry this chapter isn't very interesting, and nothing really happened. I would make it longer but I'm about to go to hospital, hopefully I'll be updating tomorrow:)**


	40. Chapter 39: Perfect Fit

**Hey guys!**

 **I just wanted to say Thankyou for everybody who's read my stories and it means so much to me. This is the very last Chapter of After Alex for now. I hope you enjoy it, Love you guys. Also please please please leave a review saying it's the last one on how you thought of my story. But if you liked this one go check out my other stories like What Even Is A Happy Ending, Sticks And Stones and Perfectly broken.**

 **-StarBucksIsLife9**

 ** _2 Years Later_**

I place the pearls on my neck, sighing, a smile smile forms around the corners of my mouth, something I now take for granted, as well as every step, every kiss, every touch, every breath.

It's only now I realise how special life is, there were times in my life were I hadn't worried about it, were I didn't care if I died, then there were times when I tried too.

I can't express the relief I feel to finally be happy again, to be able to wear a real smile, not one that's plastered over tears.

I stare at myself in the mirror, now, I don't see my twin, I don't see a broken girl, I see me, Spencer Hastings. My phone starts to buzz, I still feel a slight chill in the back of my neck every time it goes off, but to my relief it's only Aria.

"Hey beautiful", she smiles as her face takes the screen.

"Hello my lady", I giggle back, still enjoying using speeches of the historic English literature.

"Excited for tonight", she beans, sharing my enthusiasm.

"Yes!" I say happily, "we haven't had a date in forever".

"And I see your rocking those five inch heels", I hear a voice from behind, the bubbly blonde steps out from behind Aria, raising her eyebrows and giggling.

"Well at least she didn't take your advice and make that the only thing she's got on", Aria giggles back.

"Well I'm sure that will change later", replies Hanna, giggling with a hint of sarcasm, I laugh back, I enjoy times like this.

"So what are you guys planning on having for dinner", Aria says, adding a new topic.

"Ohh can I take a guess!" Shouts Hanna laughing, I roll my eyes, laughing.

"I don't know, he says it's a surprise", I smile, my grin taking up half of my face.

"I was right!" Hanna says sarcastically, "god shut up!" Aria laughs.

"Do you still miss him", I say sympathetically, she nods, "but I'm with Jake now, and I know Ezra would have wanted me to move on, but yeah, I still love him so much".

"Well ladies, I've got to go, but I'll tell you all the gossip tomorrow", I smile.

"Okay bye Spence", Aria says "have a good night... And dinner!", Hanna shouts laughing her head off when it ends, I place my phone in my purse and sling it over my shoulder.

I take a big breath in, looking confidently in the mirror. Then step out the door and trot outside, making my way to my car.

I start the car and turn on the radio, and start to him along to the tune, it's one of my all time favourite songs, Ride by Lana Del Ray.

 _Singing blues has been getting old,_

 _You can be my full time baby_

 _Hot or cold_

 _Don't break me down_

 _I've been travellin' to long_

 _I've been trying to hard_

 _With one pretty song_

And with that I'm outside of his loft, my _five inch_ heels clanking against the green metal stairs. I smile as I tap on the door, butterfly's dancing around in my stomach. The door swings open to reveal Toby, the best boyfriend I could have ever hoped for.

"Spence", he grins, kissing me passionately, his hair perfectly cut, like he used to have it. He leads me inside, his Arm protectively around my waist.

I glance at the food on the table, my gaze fixed on it, "hey... It's okay Spence", he smiles, taking my hand in his and leading me to the table were we sit down, facing each other, starting to talk, and eating dinner.

 _"Hey... It's okay Spence", Toby soothes, rubbing my arm. Tears sting my eyes, "I can't do this", I say, my teeth gritted together, my limbs shaking. "Yes you can Spence", Aria smiles from across the table, Alison and Emily next to her._

 _The four had decided to try and take matters into their own hands before taking me to the hospital or a Bulimia treatment centre. "Just breathe", Alison adds, smiling._

 _I twiddle the small sandwich between my fingers, I look over to see Hanna blocking the bathroom door from me._

 _"Here babe, on one two three okay?" He asks, encouraging me, I nod, breathing in and out. "1...2...3" he says as I lift it up to my mouth and take the smallest bite, the others look with pleading eyes, I continue biting the_ _sandwich until it's all gone._

 _"See Spence", Emily beams. "You did it babe", Toby smiles, kissing my forehead. And that happened every day for months, the portion getting bigger and bigger until I could eat without the urge to dispose of it._

"This salad is delicious", I grin, "what did you put in it?"

"Ask the people down at Sumo Salad", Toby laughs, me giggling back.

"I love you so much", he says, looking deep into my eyes.

"I love you so much too Tobes", I reply, wanting to drown in his crystal blue orbs.

 _It's true, I love him so much, through thick and thin. He's always supported me my whole life, even in my worst moments._

 _I remember the time he had invited me over to his parents house to meet his father and his stepmother. That night there was a huge storm and the lights went out, which immediantly triggered dollhouse flashbacks. I remember screaming so loud my lungs felt like they were bleeding and cried until I was gagging._

 _Then all those nights I had nightmares, Toby would rock me until I wasn't hysterical._

"Come with me", he say, his face studying mine, almost like he's nervous.

"Okay", I say sweetly, biting my lip seductivley.

We enter the room, a low, dim light fills my eyes, along with a trail of red rose petals leading to the bed, where a scrabble board lies.

"Aww Tobes you didn't have"- I stop, it's then I when I take a good look at the scrabble board, my eyes start to water and my throat tightens. Pure joy fills up my lungs and a trembling hand covers my open mouth.

 _Will you marry me._

I look at the diamond ring, placed between the Y and the U, where the O is supposed to be. "What do you say", he asks, "Y.. Yes!", I stutter from happiness, tears of joy running down my face as I run into Tobys arms, I've been waiting for this moment forever.

"I love you I love you I love you!" I say repeatedly, he then pulls away, grabbing the ring and my hand. I grin at him, I know this happened a while ago... But it wasn't exactly... Romantic... And we didn't go ahead with it, we decided to wait a little bit.

I feel the cold, shiny metal and diamonds slip onto a finger, a perfect fit.

I cup his cheek, kissing him passionately. His hands enclose in mine, _I love him._


End file.
